Listen with Your Eyes…

 

Effective listening is essential to good leadership. Many MMMs have focused on the importance of attentive, interactive listening when others are speaking. But that’s not the only kind of listening that matters. It’s also critical to listen with your eyes.

You can learn a lot by observing how people interact with one another. Watch their body language and their attitudes. Look for team members who are exerting positive or negative influence at work. Pay attention to changes in someone’s mood or behavior. Watch closely how your coworkers respond to one another in meetings.

This doesn’t come naturally to me. I’ve been caught off guard more than once by something that was happening right in front of me, something I should have noticed. But I’m working on being more aware. I’ve come to realize how important this kind of listening is to my leadership.

You can learn a lot when you open your eyes and close your mouth. Great leaders understand the power of listening with their eyes.

Start Somewhere

 

Sometimes you just need to get started.  However, don’t you want to wait until you have enough time, or you are in the right mood, or you have every possible required tool at hand?  I do!  Why do we put off getting started?  We have tons of reasons, better yet excuses that delay our start.   Often, it seems daunting to start a big project.  It can be paralyzing to face something that we know will require concentration and focus.  We search for tasks that we know require less time or we get distracted with less important action items.  Start somewhere.  Break the project down into consumable bites.  Set attainable goals that build towards completion of the larger project.

Just start…

Relationships

 

Life moves at the speed of relationships. I am not sure where I first heard that statement, but it resonated with me immediately. Think about the relationships in our lives…

• God
• Spouse and significant others
• Children
• Parents and siblings
• Close friends and confidants
• Church groups
• Mentors and mentees
• Business partners
• Employees and co-workers
• Clients and vendors

 

Relationships are valuable and important to us. I do not believe we are meant to do life alone. The people we surround ourselves with are critical to how we navigate life. Failed and broken relationships can be devastating. Strong and healthy relationships can be lifesaving. As vital as relationships are, they are seldom easy. They can be challenging and messy. They require work and attention. Relationships need to be valued, nurtured and protected.

Life moves at the speed of relationships. Are you investing enough in yours?

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

 

We make a lot of decisions in life, in fact, life is all about choices. We often place a lot of emphasis on the act of the decision itself and it is certainly important, but the decision is just the first step. Follow-through and implementation are always the hard parts of any decision. The best decisions in the world can be doomed by poor implementation.

Consider hiring decisions, you can hire the perfect person for a job, however if they are not properly on-boarded and trained they will likely fail. How about a new product line or adding an additional business location? The decision can be right for business and represent huge potential, but if the project is rolled out poorly or not well executed, the decision does not matter.

Think about the decisions in your personal life. How are you doing with implementation and follow through?

*Part of this MMM concept was borrowed from “At The Table” podcast.

Your word...

 

Oftentimes, we talk of others in terms of being able to take them for their word.  A common compliment is, “He is a man of his word.”  Let’s think about that concept by looking in the mirror.  Are you a man or woman of your word?  Can others take you at your word?  More importantly would you trust your own words?  Do you communicate with integrity and the intention to stand behind your word?  Words are powerful tools. Trust is built on words supported by honesty and integrity.  Trust can be destroyed by words of deceit and misrepresentation.  Our word is one of the few things we have that we totally control. It can’t be taken from us and will always play a role in how we impact the lives of those around us.

 

Have a blessed week!  

Perfectionist

 

Are you a perfectionist? Do you want to ensure that everything is perfect before starting something, more importantly before finishing? Is perfectionism keeping you from moving projects forward?

Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Think about it…

‘Til You Can’t

 

I have quoted a lot of songs in the MMM over the years, including ones from Thomas Rhett, Jerry Jeff Walker, Toby Keith, Natasha Bedingfield and of course Jimmy Buffett.  Today that honor goes to Cody Johnson, who sings a song entitled ‘Til You Can’t.

I have stated here before that I am a really bad procrastinator.  I own it.  We really need to be mindful of how costly procrastination can be.  Some things you just can’t put off forever.  Certain opportunities only last so long.  We can easily miss great chances in life if we don’t take them!  Don’t miss your dream. Don’t miss your love. Don’t leave the important words unsaid. 

Consider these selected lyrics from ‘Til You Can’t by Cody Johnson…

If you got a chance, take it, take it while you got a chance
If you got a dream, chase it, 'cause a dream won't chase you back
If you're gonna love somebody
Hold 'em as long and as strong and as close as you can
'Til you can't

So take that phone call from your momma and just talk away
'Cause you'll never know how bad you wanna 'til you can't someday
Don't wait on tomorrow 'cause tomorrow may not show
Say your sorries, your I-love-yous, 'cause man you never know

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

 

“Only you can change you.”  That is so true.  To implement change, you need to be intentional and proactive.  It takes action and determination.  Resolutions do not instigate change.  Goals do not prompt change.  Good intentions only go so far.  Nothing changes if nothing changes.

 

Change is not easy.  We humans are resistant to it.  It is important to note that big changes usually start with small steps. There must be an initial step, a starting action item, a simple goal.  Make incremental changes to your diet.  Increase your workout frequency or intensity over time.  Start a new daily habit of quiet time, reflection, or prayer.  Eliminate the negative forces or distractions. Set a stretch goal in your professional life.  These are all easier said than done.  However, they have one thing in common, they all require something to change. 

 

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Fun and Recreation

 

When was the last time you did something really fun?  Enjoying life is key to making it through life.  It is important to laugh, relax and make time for recreation.  Here is a great quote...

 

"People who cannot find the time for recreation are obliged sooner or later to find time for illness."

- John Wanamaker

 

It is always important to make some time for a little fun and recreation.

Consistency

 

When asked what I consider to be key characteristics of great leadership I always include consistency. It is essential that followers perceive their leaders to be consistent, stable, and dependable. Inconsistency breeds confusion and can distort the direction of teams. Consistency is a great attribute. It is a trait of great leaders, a characteristic of good parents and a virtue of loyal friends. Being consistent means, you can be depended upon. It means you have a foundation of unchanging beliefs.  Consistency implies stability. It does not have to mean that you are boring or lack spontaneity. It means that when facing a common set of circumstances, you generally respond the same way every time.  It is especially important as a leader.  If people never know what to expect from you, they stop expecting anything. You don’t want your followers to stop expecting anything.

 

Be consistent. Consistency builds loyal followers, strong companies, and stable families.

Leadership Doesn't Change

A lot has happened over the last four years, especially in just the last 12 months, but what has really changed? In some regards what is really important has not changed much at all. The below MMM could have been written today. It was actually published four years ago on February 6, 2017. The ingredients for great leadership have not changed and are even more important today.

Leadership Today

 

After just one month of 2017 and two weeks into the term of a new President, we find our country to be in interesting and challenging times.  Our political and social landscape is changing, seems incredibly delicate, and is actually very contentious.  The world of social media has forever changed how information is disseminated and opinions are formed.  That is not necessarily a change for the better.  We are quick to make judgments; we fail to research facts; we condemn too quickly.  It is way too easy to be extremist and hateful from the safety of an iPhone or keyboard.  We also think it takes too much time to truly listen, educate ourselves and fully understand issues.  The issues are passionate, significant ones.  The extremely divided opinions on many of these topics is both surprising and totally understandable.  But remember, varying viewpoints, backgrounds and beliefs are what makes this country great.      

 What does all of this mean for those striving to be great leaders?  Let me suggest…

·         Be bold but thoughtful

·         Ensure that passions and convictions are well supported by facts

·         Drawing lines in the sand and jumping to conclusions are short sighted behaviors

·         There is power in being positive even in debate

·         Every thought or opinion, political or otherwise, that crosses one’s mind does not have to be posted to social media

·         Don’t believe, nor become enraged by, everything you read on the internet or social media

·         Be careful of the momentum of the bandwagon; groups with common beliefs often feed off themselves without considering differing viewpoints

·         Most importantly…  Listen, truly listen with the intent to understand.

It’s still okay…

This MMM is a fresh repeat from just March of this year. I have found myself still in need of the reminder that it is okay to not be okay. When I first wrote this in March, I had no idea that I might feel the same way at the first of November, yet here we are eight months later and still in the middle of a pandemic.  Take the time to remind yourself and your love ones of the challenging times that we are facing, and that the frustration and overwhelming feelings we may have are acceptable and maybe even necessary to help us get through these times.

It’s okay…

It is okay to not be okay.  These are crazy challenging times.  You would be unique if you were perfectly fine.  Our lives, families, businesses and finances are all being impacted by this virus.  We are in uncharted territory and none of us really know how we are supposed to handle this.  We need to instill hope for our families, employees and organizations.  We know it is important to continue to lead.  We will get through this! 

It is okay to not be okay.  Don’t fret if you feel worried.  Who isn’t somewhat depressed? I know I feel overwhelmed.  Business owners are facing tough decisions. Uncertainty is prevalent and none of this is comfortable.  It is okay to be frustrated, even angry, by these feelings.  You have permission to breakdown occasionally.  A good cry might be a healthy thing.  However, you can’t let it overtake you.  Yes, we need to be strong for our kids, but we don’t have to be strong 100% of the time.  Crawling in a deep dark hole is not an option.  We need to be realistic without constantly succumbing to the negativity.  Acknowledge your feelings; respect the challenge you are facing and get back at it.  Don’t let the negativity overwhelm you.

It is okay to not be okay.

Mountains to Die On

Life is full of opportunities for us to take on battles.  There are times when it is important that we go to battle; take a stance for causes that we believe in; stand up for what is right.  Those situations are mountains worth dying on.  There are other mountains not worth the battle.  Some disagreements and conflicts simply are not worth the fight.  Maybe the issue is not that significant, not an issue of moral character or integrity.  Maybe the risks of battle far outweigh the rewards of victory.  Whatever the case, life requires us to wisely select the battles we choose to fight.  If you go through life without standing up for anything you will feel empty and regretful.  On the other hand, if you choose to fight every single little issue that comes along you will be in constant battle and probably will not experience many victories on the real important issues. 

Choose your battles carefully; some issues just are not the mountain to die on.

Important versus Urgent?

I don't know about you, but I am not very good at taking care of the important things in life as opposed to the urgent things.  I seem to I focus on urgent issues of the day, often just to put a check mark in the box.  There are things that are urgent that we all have to take care.  There are also things that are very important that we should take care of.  It always seems urgent to answer emails, return calls, go to the grocery store, and do the laundry.  Granted those are mostly necessities and they need to be addressed.  However, there are more important things like consoling a troubled neighbor, spending quality time with your kids, mentoring a young associate, or visiting an elderly relative.  There are important things in life that we should prioritize above the urgent issues of the day.  As you plan your day, think about the important versus the urgent...

Happy Monday Morning!

Coming out of this better…

There is a lot of commentary out there on how things will be different after COVID-19.  Certainly, we are learning what we miss the most and what we deem to be really important.  Discovering creative ways to work from home and how to be flexible are daily challenges.  Of course, we are also being reminded of the importance of health care workers, first responders, truck drivers and grocery store staff.  Oh, and maybe most importantly, Teachers! 

But what are you doing to come out of this a better person?

·       Are you going to have better family relationships?

·       Will you learn a new craft or skill?

·       Are you growing in your faith?

·       Have you discovered new ways to give back in your community?

·       Will you be more serious about saving of 2-3 months of living expenses?

·       Has your perspective about work/life balance changed?

·       Do you have new goals and objectives for the balance of the year?

·       Will you bring a new level of commitment and energy to your job or your business?

·       Have you read a business or self help book you have been putting off?

This is not over, but most of the above take some time.  Take advantage of the opportunity of time. What are you doing to make sure you come out of this a better person? Think about it.

How Are Your Investments Doing?

No, I am not talking about your stock portfolio.  I am talking about your investment in other people!  One of the most important investments we make is in other humans.  We invest time, love and attention into people around us every day.  (If you are not positively investing in others you should be.)  The most valuable thing that we can give others is our time and our undivided attention.  As leaders it is our responsibility to invest in people.  We invest time with people who want to understand our careers.  Time should be dedicated to helping others avoid our mistakes.  We spend time mentoring.  Sharing the wisdom of our experiences is an investment in someone else.  Helping people through difficult personal or professional times is an investment in them.  Building meaningful and lasting relationships is a significant investment. 

We are meant to live in community.  We are designed to support others and be supported by others.  Be intentional about investing in people.  Make relationship investing a part of who you are. Trust me, you will see a return on your investment.

How are your investments doing?

How do you treat others?

What do you think about when you hear that question?  There are basic considerations like opening doors for others and letting people go first in line.  There are also daily pleasantries like saying “how are you” and “thank you”.  In my mind there is one true measure of how we treat people that ranks above all others; the way we speak to someone.  What we say, and often more importantly, how we say it, is the key to how we treat people.  Our words are powerful.  Our tone can be harmful.  Our decision to talk or listen sends a message. 

Never underestimate the power of the spoken work.  Unfortunately, that spoken word is easy to use in anger and retaliation. It is the first thing we use without thinking when responding to someone.  It can be made hurtful by the words we choose and the tone with which they are said.  However, the spoken word can also be used to lift someone up, to show true love and support, to encourage and to teach.  It can communicate our deepest feelings and share our most private thoughts.  The power is ours.  We make the choice about exactly how to use the power of a spoken word.  How we talk to people is the true barometer of how we treat them. 

So, when you open your mouth today think about how you really treat others?

Welcome to 2020!

Can you believe another year has flown by? This is the first full week of the new year. For that matter, it is the first full week of a new decade.  How will this year be better or different for you?  How will this decade change your life?

Have you made New Year resolutions? Do you have personal or professional goals? Maybe you have a theme or a word for the year.  What about a 2020 Bible verse? It does not matter the tool you use to motivate yourself, or the system you use to change or improve.  Sticking with it is the important thing.  If you want to make progress this year, you will need to be as interested in April and September as you are this week.  Continuous and ongoing improvement is the key.  There is nothing magical about beginning a new year.  It is, however, a great opportunity for a new outlook and some fresh thinking.  Choose what works best for you, just don’t miss the chance to make this year a great one.

How will you grow in 2020?

Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil

We have all seen pictures and statuettes of the three monkeys that symbolize the above phase, and we have probably heard that phrase hundreds of times.  Parts of the phrase seem to take on a life of their own.  How many of you have said, "My mom told me if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all”?  The speak no evil part just seems so logical and understandable.  Words are powerful, but they can also be hurtful.  So, what about the Hear and See no evil?  I think those are just as important.  They mean to not let evil influence your life.  Don't watch evil on TV.  Don't listen to evil music.  Don't hang out with evil people.  Don't go into business with evil partners.  Don't put yourselves in situations where evil is prevalent.  Humans tend to take on the characteristics of the environment in which they live.  As such we should stay away from evil environments.

Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil.  Be all three monkeys at one time!

You don’t have to always be right!

It’s okay to be wrong, everyone is, and it is important to admit it when we are.  More important is the need for leaders to allow those who work for them to admit their mistakes.  Good leaders give people permission to be wrong.  Most people don't admit their mistakes because of fear. They're afraid they won't be forgiven¹.  Good leaders let their followers know that it's okay.  Great leaders even share their own stories of failure.  It shows that they care and allows them to be human.  This permission to be wrong leads to stronger relationships between leaders and followers.  It leads to humility and transparency. 

There are few guarantees in life, making mistakes is one of them.  Allow yourself to be wrong and admit it.  More importantly, allow those around you to be wrong and admit it.

¹ Parsley, Brian, Admit You’re Wrong (brianparsley.com)