Recently I was listening to my favorite podcast, At The Table with Patrick Lencioni, and they were discussing the concept of brining light not heat to a difficult situation. It is really an incredible analogy. In situations where you need to confront someone or want to make a point, bringing the heat does not work. If you lead with heat, you will be met with heat. We really want to lead with light. We want the other person to see our position not hear our anger. Heat ramps up emotion. Light brings clarity.
Unfortunately, heat makes good news. Our society feeds off conflict and contentiousness, but heat breeds mistrust. Volume, anger, cursing, and finger pointing are all versions of heat. They serve little more than to escalate a situation. Calm, steady tones, and sincerity are forms of light. They may not lead to agreement, but they can lead to understanding and acceptance. Next time you are faced with a difficult conversation, lead with light! Leave the heat at home.
*Portions of this MMM were taken from an episode of At The Table podcast with Patrick Lencioni. For those that are interested it is Episode 100 – Go Ahead, Enter the Danger.