I Can't Imagine

I am a creature of habit – like many of us humans. I can’t imagine losing my entire home and its contents. I mean I have slept there for 25 years, raised our children there, and created memories there. It holds all our belongings, too much stuff, perhaps, but it is all there. 

The devastation of the Los Angeles wildfires is hard to fathom. I can’t imagine the sights along the roadways that I have traveled so many times. I do not know what to think about the ongoing air quality issues. We have a daughter in North Hollywood who I worry about constantly. I can’t imagine the overwhelming task of rebuilding. The loss of life is heartbreaking, but frankly, feels like it could have been even worse. 

Check on your friends in Los Angeles. Even if their home is fine, they may not be. They need our support now, next month, and in the years to come! 

I just can’t imagine…

Bring Light Not Heat

 

Recently I was listening to my favorite podcast, At The Table with Patrick Lencioni, and they were discussing the concept of brining light not heat to a difficult situation.  It is really an incredible analogy.  In situations where you need to confront someone or want to make a point, bringing the heat does not work.  If you lead with heat, you will be met with heat.  We really want to lead with light.  We want the other person to see our position not hear our anger.  Heat ramps up emotion.  Light brings clarity. 

Unfortunately, heat makes good news.  Our society feeds off conflict and contentiousness, but heat breeds mistrust.  Volume, anger, cursing, and finger pointing are all versions of heat.  They serve little more than to escalate a situation.  Calm, steady tones, and sincerity are forms of light.  They may not lead to agreement, but they can lead to understanding and acceptance.  Next time you are faced with a difficult conversation, lead with light!  Leave the heat at home.

*Portions of this MMM were taken from an episode of At The Table podcast with Patrick Lencioni.  For those that are interested it is Episode 100 – Go Ahead, Enter the Danger.

Leadership

We are all leaders.  Some are formal leaders with titles, others are informal leaders with influence.  We lead at home, church, in our community and at work.  We lead our children, our peers, and our employees.  If you do not consider yourself a leader you are ignoring an opportunity, even a responsibility, to positively influence those around you.  Below are characteristics that are keys to great leadership.  Embrace these and be a great leader! 

 

• Hope - Great leaders give people hope for a better tomorrow.
• Consistency - When followers never know what to expect from a leader, they will stop expecting anything.
• Influence - People do not respond well when pushed, forced, or directed.  They respond best when influenced by leaders they respect. 
• Honesty & Trust - Trust and honesty are established when words and actions match up.
• Accountability - Followers need to see leaders who are willing to be held accountable. 
• Humility - As leaders we should be concerned with what is right, not if we are right. 

Choose Growth

Personal growth occurs only when we are challenged.  It is in those moments that we have the best opportunity to grow.  We don’t grow when our lives are trouble free, and things are taken care of for us.  We likely won’t grow when all is well at work and home.  Difficult times give us the life experiences from which we cultivate change.  If we take those opportunities and use those situations to learn, we become better people.  We must choose to tackle the challenge and grow from it.  The pandemic has been challenging, but it has also provided us with an opportunity to grow in how we lead at work and at home. We can choose to grow in how we positively influence others. We can choose to grow in our faith and trust in God.  We can choose to mature in our leadership roles.  We can choose to grow our life’s perspective. 

Now as much as ever, we can choose to grow. Enjoy the quote below…

 “Challenge yourself. It’s the only path which leads to growth.”

-       Morgan Freeman

Decisions…

My wife and I have a variety of home improvement projects going on at home.  This process has reminded me of how differently we go about making decisions.  As a part of this process, I recently asked if she wanted to go to the store with me to make a certain selection.  Her response was telling, saying “No, I do not have the time it will take for you to stand there and stare at the options and over think your choice”.  She might have a point, and this was just for some picture frames!  I am proud to say, that on several of the decisions on these projects I have been able to make some speedy selections and keep the project moving.  Nonetheless, definitive and fast decision making is not my strong suit.  A good friend, and longtime MMM reader, shared the below thought with me recently…

“Remember, the road of life is littered with squirrels that could not make a decision.”

For many of you this is not a problem.  For those like me, for whom it is, we need to work on it, lest we get run over!

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Make One Change

The world as we know it has drastically changed over the last 120 days.  What have we learned from all of this?  I am not talking about how to use Zoom or buy groceries online.  What have you learned about yourself?  Has being at home with your family presented some growth opportunities?  Does working remotely lead to more efficiency or more frustration?  Think about how you have changed and what you have learned.  What positive change do you plan to take with you from this experience.  Pick one significant change; make it meaningful and challenging for your personal growth.  It can be like a New Year’s resolution made on June 1^st instead of January 1^st. 

Make one positive change from these challenging times…

Resilience & Adaptability

Humans are incredibly resilient and more adaptable than we think. Proof of this can be observed during this time of crisis. We have figured out totally new ways to conduct business and interact with others. Companies have pivoted their entire business models, some to move products into areas of need and others to make entirely new products. Working from home has taken on a whole new, and very serious, meaning. We have learned to home-school, social distance, Zoom, and even cook better. Our family relationships, both virtual and in the confines of our homes has changed, and hopefully improved.

The uplifting part of this resilience and adaptability manifests itself in how we have rallied to the cause. The emotional stories about special things being done for healthcare workers are overwhelming. Our acknowledgement of environmental staff and truck drivers and their importance to our world is amazing. The donation of time and talents across this country is truly impressive.

This change in our way of lives has not been easy and has become tiresome. However, we are surviving this because we are resilient, and we have adapted.

Coming out of this better…

There is a lot of commentary out there on how things will be different after COVID-19.  Certainly, we are learning what we miss the most and what we deem to be really important.  Discovering creative ways to work from home and how to be flexible are daily challenges.  Of course, we are also being reminded of the importance of health care workers, first responders, truck drivers and grocery store staff.  Oh, and maybe most importantly, Teachers! 

But what are you doing to come out of this a better person?

·       Are you going to have better family relationships?

·       Will you learn a new craft or skill?

·       Are you growing in your faith?

·       Have you discovered new ways to give back in your community?

·       Will you be more serious about saving of 2-3 months of living expenses?

·       Has your perspective about work/life balance changed?

·       Do you have new goals and objectives for the balance of the year?

·       Will you bring a new level of commitment and energy to your job or your business?

·       Have you read a business or self help book you have been putting off?

This is not over, but most of the above take some time.  Take advantage of the opportunity of time. What are you doing to make sure you come out of this a better person? Think about it.

Lead Yourself First

How well do you lead yourself?  Recently we talked about how leadership starts at home, and it does.  Beyond that however, it truly starts with leading oneself.  It is very difficult to truly lead at home, in the community or at work without first leading yourself.  I find this to be challenging personally.  I encourage and often portray discipline, yet I am not very disciplined myself.  Many of my greatest leadership failures have been related to leading myself and my family.  For some reason it seems okay to let ourselves down but not others.  Truly great leadership does begin at home.  It begins at home with oneself.  When was your last conversation with yourself about you leading you?

Go make it a great week.  Start by leading yourself first!