Voices In Your Head

 

Do you hear voices in your head? Are they always positive and encouraging? If your answer to that is yes, are you being honest? Most of us tend to have trash talk in our heads.

If you have been around the MMM for a long you know I often incorporate musical lyric references. Have you heard the Jelly Roll song entitled “Liar”? Consider these random snippets from the song.

·        I let you drive around my mind

·        You made me feel like I’m nothing

·        Saying…

-          Heaven isn’t real

-          You won’t find nobody to love

·        You try to be my friend, but your blowing smoke

·        You ain’t nothing but a liar

We all have demons and head trash. That is enough to deal with, but the song lyrics seem to be about another person’s whose thoughts and opinions running around his head. Don’t let others get all up into your headspace. Protect your mind from the negative thoughts of others.

We may not be able to train the voices in our minds to always be positive, but we can keep the negative voice of others from camping out in our heads.

Think about it and listen to Jelly Roll.

Conversations in Your Own Head

 

Do you talk to yourself?  Maybe not literally out loud, but do you have conversations with yourself in your own head?  I know I do, and I have to believe that most people do.  Is there a voice in your head that you cannot help but listen to? How do those conversations go?  Are they positive, encouraging and uplifting? Or are they negative, downgrading and discouraging.  All too often for me they can be the latter. 

 

Why are we so hard on ourselves? Maybe not everyone is. Those that have mastered the ability to be positive and self-assuring in their own minds are likely to be more successful and maybe happier all around; It is not an easy task.  We should understand that we need to be our own best friend, our own greatest supporter and biggest fan.  Why not? 

 

I am not suggesting arrogance here. I am suggesting that we need to be positive about ourselves in our own minds. We need to talk ourselves up, be encouraging.  Nothing but good can come from that. There are plenty of negative influences out there today. We do not need another one in our own head!  Listen to your positive self in your own mind! 

Positive Feedback

 

Are you complimentary when you receive good service?  Do you provide a lift to someone by acknowledging their smile or positive outlook?  You might be surprised at the difference you can make in someone’s day by simply being complimentary. 

 

Here are just a few…

·         When a hotel clerk greets you with a smile and helpful attitude make sure they know you noticed. 

·         When the dry cleaner’s employee is prompt and professional, genuinely thank them. 

·         When your dining waitstaff is especially efficient give them a compliment and maybe even a larger tip. 

People that serve others for a living are often mistreated. Can you do your part to change that?  If they are doing a really exceptional job, go out of your way to let their boss know.  Positive feedback is a great motivator and can change someone’s day, maybe even their future!

 

Pay someone a genuine compliment today and have a blessed week!

Crisis

Last week we talked about true leaders emerging during a crisis. There can, and should, be other positive outcomes from times of crisis. Our challenges should always lead to lessons learned, changes made, and improvements in our lives.

If we are not growing through what we are going through, we are missing huge opportunities. This is true of both business and personal challenges. Think about this…

A good crisis is a terrible thing to waste!

Leap of Faith

 

It has a little to do with procrastination but also with taking a leap of faith.  It applies to a lot of decisions in life.  You can never be 100% positive about anything.  There is always that small percentage that is a leap of faith.  If we wait until everything is "just right" we will never do anything.  We would never get married, buy houses, have children or change careers.  And, as it says you will gain better tools as you go along.  Don't wait...

“Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right'. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” - Napoleon Hill

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving week!  It is the time we designate each year to give thanks, to be grateful for all that we have.  Shouldn’t we be doing that all the time?  I had a conversation just last week with some friends about the things we take for granted, food and shelter, hot running water, a coat to wear when it cools down.  If you are reading this, you are likely blessed well beyond most people on this planet.  Be thankful for that!  Be thankful for that all year long!

These days there seems to be a lot written about gratitude, and the role that it plays in a positive outlook and happiness.  Expressing your thanks can really improve your overall sense of well-being.  Studies show that grateful people are more agreeable, more open, and less neurotic.  There are many ways to remind ourselves of our blessings and encourage gratitude.  I know people who maintain a gratitude journal.  Another friend recently reached a milestone birthday and created a list equal to his age of things he is thankful for.  Don’t take your blessings for granted, Willie Nelson doesn’t.

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around."

-       Willie Nelson

 Be intentional about your gratitude.  You will feel better, I promise.  

Mind Games

 

I have read that over 66,000 thoughts flow through our minds every day.  I’m not sure if that is factual, but if it is anywhere near that many it is staggering.  No wonder I can’t focus. That also explains the fact that I can talk myself into believing almost anything.  The real challenge is what we do with all that thought power.  Too often those thoughts are negative.  Thoughts like the devil tempting us and thoughts like our own self-doubt.  We can be our own worst enemy with negative thoughts.  Clearly the preference is to use those thoughts to bolster confidence, to instill a positive attitude.  Remember the MMM a few weeks ago, "Choose Your Me”.  Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.  The mind can push our bodies beyond perceived limits.  It can strengthen us in times of loss and encourage us in times of doubt.   Controlling all of our thoughts is probably not possible, but controlling our thoughts when we need them to be positive is a great skill. 

 

Life is largely a mental game.  How we handle tens of thousands of thoughts per day plays impacts us significantly.  Our thoughts need to be positive, supportive, encouraging, and challenging, not negative.  What kind of games is your mind playing on you?

Leadership

We are all leaders.  Some are formal leaders with titles, others are informal leaders with influence.  We lead at home, church, in our community and at work.  We lead our children, our peers, and our employees.  If you do not consider yourself a leader you are ignoring an opportunity, even a responsibility, to positively influence those around you.  Below are characteristics that are keys to great leadership.  Embrace these and be a great leader! 

 

• Hope - Great leaders give people hope for a better tomorrow.
• Consistency - When followers never know what to expect from a leader, they will stop expecting anything.
• Influence - People do not respond well when pushed, forced, or directed.  They respond best when influenced by leaders they respect. 
• Honesty & Trust - Trust and honesty are established when words and actions match up.
• Accountability - Followers need to see leaders who are willing to be held accountable. 
• Humility - As leaders we should be concerned with what is right, not if we are right. 

A Reminder…

I have had a chance to do some pondering lately.  It is not something I do well, or often.  None of these thoughts are new or different, but they are great reminders of maintaining perspective.  Make sure your life includes a healthy mix of the following… 

• Get outside and enjoy God’s handiwork
• Take time off and unplug
• Do something you have never done
• Thank those on your team that enable you to take time off and unplug
• Spend quality time with great friends
• Meet new friends
• Discover new places
• Be part of something that positively impacts others
• Protect and cherish your health
• Spend time around a table…  tell stories, share ideas, challenge thoughts, make memories

Energy Leaks

Have you ever heard of something called an energy leak?  It is a feeling, behavior or attitude  that drains you of energy.  Energy leaks are wasteful, they drain people of positive energy for no good reason.  Some examples of potential energy leaks...

- Jealousy

- Judging others

- Holding grudges

- Petty bickering

- The blame game

There are many, maybe hundreds more.  Everybody has these, they may be different from those listed, but we all have them.  The interesting thing is, we know it.  For some reason we think these thoughts and feelings might make us feel better.  The truth is, that energy spent on these feelings and behaviors is a waste.  It produces no positive outcome and sucks the energy right out of you.  Use your energy on positive thoughts, feeling and behaviors and stop wasting time on energy leaks! Enjoy the quote below..

 “Should you find yourself in a chronically leaking boat, energy devoted to changing vessels is likely to be more productive than energy devoted to patching leaks.”

-               Warren Buffett

Super Bowl of Life?

The Big game played yesterday is a big deal in the football world and certainly entertaining to watch.  Granted, this year was a little different, as our lives have been for the last eleven months. If we are not actually part of an NFL team, we cannot aspire to make it to that game.  However, there are Super Bowls of life that we can aspire to, even hope to be named MVP. There are others that we should try to avoid. Consider…

·         There is the Super Bowl of a meaningful life

…or the one for materialistic success

·         What about the Super Bowl of positive impact

… as opposed to the one of self focus

·         There is a Super Bowl for giving back

…but also, one of selfishness

·         A Super Bowl of Faith

…or the one of stubborn independence

·         The Super Bowl for being a positive spouse, parent, or friend

…but also one for never developing meaning relationships

 What Super Bowl of Life (or Bowls) are you training for?

Leadership:

 Momentum Breaker – Dishonesty / Momentum Maker – Character

Character is the sum of a lifetime of everyday choices.  It cannot be built overnight.  Years of proper choices create character.  However, it can be destroyed in a minute, by dishonesty.  We make choices every day which either build or destroy our character.  Many of you have heard me say before…  “Do the right thing, even when nobody is looking!”  It is a matter of integrity and it builds character.  A trustworthy leader has a much easier time generating momentum than a leader with a reputation of being manipulative and deceitful.  Great leaders know how to build positive momentum.

As we celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr. Day today, give some thought to Dr. King’s quote:

 “The time is always right to do what is right.”                                                                            – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Attitude

I have written before, as many have, about the importance of attitude.  Most such writings focus on the power of a positive mental attitude.  Much credit is given to the strength of a proper attitude.  The power of positive thinking is a popular concept and a valid one.  What about the power of a bad attitude?  What about the impact of a negative attitude?  What is the cost of having the wrong mental attitude?  Consider the thoughts of the third President of the United States.

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude
from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the
man with the wrong mental attitude.”

-Thomas Jefferson

Critical

Have you ever described someone as being “too critical” or “always criticizing”?  People can be very critical.  It is almost second nature to many.  Criticizing is considerably easier than being positive and participating in a solution.  People should be better for having been around you. It is especially easy to criticize via email or social media. The challenge is to not just consider when others are being too critical but to monitor our own tendencies as well.  Don’t automatically be judgmental or critical.  Seek to provide positive feedback and constructive suggestions.  Individuals who are always critical are difficult to be around and can be de-motivating.  Strive to always be positive and participate in a constructive manner in your work life as well as your home life.

 Have a blessed week…

Make One Change

The world as we know it has drastically changed over the last 120 days.  What have we learned from all of this?  I am not talking about how to use Zoom or buy groceries online.  What have you learned about yourself?  Has being at home with your family presented some growth opportunities?  Does working remotely lead to more efficiency or more frustration?  Think about how you have changed and what you have learned.  What positive change do you plan to take with you from this experience.  Pick one significant change; make it meaningful and challenging for your personal growth.  It can be like a New Year’s resolution made on June 1^st instead of January 1^st. 

Make one positive change from these challenging times…

We Can, and We Will

This pandemic will end, and we can learn from it. Our job as leaders is to guide businesses, organizations and families, through to the end. To get there we need to be positive and encouraging, while promoting growth and positive change. A good friend recently reminded me the power of the simple words, “can” and “will”. These small words completely change how a message is received. Consider a few messages we can send as leaders…

·       Our team can be productive from home

·       We will be a closer family

·       You can adapt under pressure

·       We will maintain relationships with clients

·       You can grow as a person through this crisis

·       Our business will have better contingency plans

·       We can work more efficiently 

·       Our non-profit will survive and adapt

·       We will be better off on the back side of this

·       I can make a difference by being a leader

We can and will get through these crazy times. Our challenge as leaders is to ensure that our teams grow, learn and change for the better!

Who’s in Charge?

Sometimes I will walk into my office, a meeting, or even my own home with the somewhat joking greeting of, “Who’s in charge?”  Reactions vary, sometimes I get “You are”, or maybe, “not me”.  Then there is always someone who names another person in the room that is in charge.

I was thinking about this rhetorical question last week.  Who is really in charge?  For many of us it is our God, but on a day to day basis, we are in charge of our lives and the decisions we make.  Our faith, morals and values guide those choices, but we must act upon them. Our daily choices have results and consequences. We decide our attitude for the day.  How positively we impact others is a decision we make.  Individually, each day we choose what we eat, when or if we workout, and like these decisions we all are in control of our own productivity at work and at home.  Every single one of us is in charge.  The answer to the question is, “I am!”   

You are in Charge!

How do you define success?

Success is defined by each of us in different ways.  It should be a very personal definition, not shaped by others' opinions, the media or society.  It should include components of faith, family and helping those around us.  Success should be viewed as a journey and not a specific destination. It likely changes over time and with age It does not have to include financial or materialistic goals, although it may.  Success is simply a recipe for contentment.  What is your definition of success?  Below are a few good keys in my mind...

• Be comfortable with who you are
• Leave the world a better place
• Be a positive influence
• Tell the truth
• Get mad but don't be stupid
• Be a giver not a taker
• Seek God
• Be kind
• Have and accept grace
• Be humble

We are all Leaders…

We are all leaders.  We lead by our actions and reactions.  We lead with the tone of our voice and our level of caring.  We lead by our attitude, our patience and our listening skills.  Don’t think you are not a leader.  No title is required to lead.  You lead at home, in your neighborhood, in the PTO and at the youth sports fields.  The questions is... Is your leadership intentional, positive, encouraging and challenging?

Do you embrace your leadership role?  Are you intentional in how you lead?  Do you recognize your ability to influence others, both positively and negatively?  Are you growing as a leader?

The fact that we are all leaders is a given, we have the ability to influence others.  What you do with that influence is what defines you as a leader…

The Spoken Word…

The spoken word is more powerful than we know.  Words can both hurt and heal.  They can destroy, but also build up.  What we simply verbalize can educate or berate.  Words can sting, but they also have the power to soothe.  We can use our words to encourage or to deflate.  Our words can make someone’s day or…

The problem is that we are often too quick to spout something off without thinking of its impact.  As the saying goes we speak before we think.  This often results in our words coming out on the negative side of all of the above options.  That means we leave a trail of anger, disappointment, and hurt feelings around us. 

Consider the power of your words.  Choose them carefully.  More to the point, today consciously choose to be positive with what you say.  

Have a blessed week…