Life Is Not Calm

The world we live in is chaotic. There is a lot going on. The same is true for our lives and our businesses. We face challenges. We have hurdles. Rough patches happen. Nothing worth accomplishing is easy. Good things are likely to be difficult and messy, but that is life. Smooth sailing is a myth.

Remember…nobody's success story sounded calm while they were creating it.

Be Present

Last week, I wrote about the past and the future. This MMM is about the present. Are you truly present? 

We live in a world that constantly pulls us somewhere else. The next meeting. The next notification. The next problem to solve. Even when we are physically in the room, our minds are often already on what’s next, certainly our phones are.

Life happens in the present. The conversation in front of you. The client with the problem. The family member telling you about their day. A friend who needs your attention. Being present is a choice. It means putting the phone down. Closing the laptop. Listening with intent. It means giving someone the gift of your undivided attention.

When we are present, we build trust and we create opportunities!

Don’t just show up this week, be present.

Innovation

We live in a constantly changing world. All facets of society are evolving. This is especially true in business. Just consider the speed of change in technology. Here is what you must know in today’s business world.

- If you do not innovate your business, someone else will! 

Think about it. Our competitive edge is constantly under attack. Our differentiation is always at risk. Our business model always has room for improvement. Don’t lose your edge, be on the leading edge…

Four years ago today…

 

In my mind, today is the four-year anniversary of the start of the pandemic in the United States. On this day in 2020, both the Houston Rodeo and the NBA shut down entirely. Not long after that the entire country was pretty much in a lock down. For some of us it was a few weeks, for others it was much longer. Every single person, business, organization, and activity in our world was impacted. Many are still feeling that impact. Our world is not the same four years later.

 

What have we learned? I will stay away from medical, political, or socio-economic lessons. What have you learned as an individual? I have shared these questions before. They are worth considering again. Actually, they are worth considering frequently, not just in the wake of a pandemic.

 

·         Are you going to have better family relationships?

·         Have you learned a new craft or skill?

·         Are you growing in your faith?

·         Have you discovered new ways to give back in your community?

·         Will you be more serious about saving 2-3 months of living expenses?

·         Has your perspective about work/life balance changed?

·         Do you have new goals and objectives for the balance of the year?

·         Will you bring a new level of commitment and energy to your job or your business?

·         Have you read a business or self-help book you have been putting off?

People

 

The world is comprised of three types of people…

 

1. Those who make things happen.
2. Those who watch and/or follow what happens.
3. Those who ask what happened.

 

Hopefully we are not always #3!  However, in certain aspects of our life, we likely are the ones who ask, “what happened?”. It is hard to be #1 or #2 regarding every area of our lives, much less to be #1 all the time.  To me the key is which one of these are we regarding things that really matter?  For instance, family, marriage, faith, parenting, or whatever may be of absolute importance to us. What are we in those roles?  It is okay to be #3 about entertainment, sports, fashion, or even current events.  It is not okay to be #3 regarding things of significance. 

 

When it comes to the things that really matter, we all should strive to be one of those who make things happen!

Communicating

 

If you follow the MMM you know I have written a lot on listening. Focused and intentional listening is powerful. But let’s look at the other aspect of communication. That is the role of the communicator. Communication is a two-way street between the communicator and the listener. The real burden is on the communicator. They are the ones delivering a message. They are the ones trying to make a point. It is their job to successfully convey their intended message. All the great listening in the world cannot overcome a poorly delivered concept or idea.

The next time you feel the urge to say, “Would you just listen to what I am saying?”, consider pausing and reviewing your delivery as the communicator. The burden is on the sender of the message. 

Have a blessed week.

Some days are diamonds. Some days are stones.

 

Some days are in fact diamonds. Those are the days when all seems to be right with the world. Others are more like rough uncut stones when nothing seems to go smoothly. Most days actually fall somewhere in between. There are rough spots during the day offset by bright spots at other times.  Some days we even have opportunities to turn stones into diamonds. For the most part we learn to take the good with the bad and roll with the flow, knowing that there are always more diamonds to come. Maybe not tomorrow or next week, but there are more days of diamonds. By faith, strength, discipline and wisdom we endure the stones and rejoice in the diamonds. 

Remember too, the stones will never totally go away…

A Lecture…

 

“Don’t offer a lecture to a person that needs a hug!”

-        Anonymous

We humans can be a bit judgy. Many of us are set in our ways and view the world from only our perspective. We think we have all the answers. The problem is when we feel the need to press our answers onto others. These lectures might be about how others should live their life, who they should date, how to parent, or what they need to tell their boss. Sure, there is a place for these discussions with our friends. Note the use of the word discussion, not lecture. But, oftentimes people just need a sympathetic ear. They need to be listened to, not lectured to. Think about the difference. Big opportunity here for both parents and employers.

Sometimes, friends, employees and kids may actually want to know our thoughts. Other times they may even need to hear our thoughts. But there are also times when we need to keep our mouth shut. Never pass up the opportunity to give someone a hug. It might be all they need.

Get the Cream Sauce!

 

There is a lot to unpack in the below quote from the late Anthony Bourdain.  What a great way to do life!  There are nuggets in here about getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things, talking to new people, and taking care of yourself and others.  This topic relates to last week’s MMM ‘Til You Can’t.  It is also about trying new and different things, experiencing life, having a beer with a stranger.  Great wisdom here.  Cheers Anthony!

"Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride."

- Anthony Bourdain

Super Bowl of Life?

 

The Big game played yesterday between the Los Angeles Rams and Cincinnati Bengals is always a big deal in the football world and certainly is entertaining to watch, but if we are not actually part of an NFL team (coach, player, owner, etc.) we can’t aspire to make it to that game.  There are Super Bowls of life that we can aspire to even hope to be named MVP…

·         There is the Super Bowl of a meaningful life

…or the one for materialistic success

·         What about the Super Bowl of positive impact

… as opposed to the one of personal fame

·         There is a Super Bowl for giving back

…but also one of selfishness

·         A Super Bowl of Faith

…or the one of stubborn independence

·         The Super Bowl for being a positive spouse, parent, or friend

…but also one for never developing meaning relationships

 

What Super Bowl of Life (or Bowls) are you training for?

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

ABCs of Life

 

I was getting ready for work one day last week and found myself gazing at an “ABC” list of life advice sign in our home.  It is a list of great life suggestions we received from some wonderful friends.  The “G” caught my eye, as I have clearly done that!  More importantly, the “Y” jumped out at me. In this contentious world we need more of this. In glancing at the rest of the list, there are several that I need to be more conscious of doing, maybe the “N”. What about you? They don’t all apply to everyone, but most of them do. Life is short, here are 26 things to do while you can…

Avoid Collagen, Bloom Late, Celebrate, Dance At Weddings, Eat More Chocolate, Fall In Love Again, Go Grey, Hold Hands, Inspire, Jettison Grudges, Kiss Like You Mean It, Laugh, Mend Fences, Nurture Friendships, Open Doors, Perspire With Aplomb, Quit Whining, Rekindle Romance, Spoil Babies, Teach Someone To Read, Upset Convention, Volunteer, Wear Red, eXpect Joy, Yield Gracefully, Zing

Leadership – What is right?

 

As leaders we should be concerned with what is right, not being right.  What a great world it would be if we were all more concerned with what is right than who is right.  We spend a lot of time defending our position, arguing our viewpoint, and building our own individual case.  Is our position always what is right?  That seems doubtful.  There are times we may be arguing for what is right, but often we are just concerned with being right.  Sometimes we even know that we are not right, but we just cannot bring ourselves to admit that we are wrong.  It should not be about being wrong; It should be about what is right.  This is a tough one for many leaders.  Oftentimes, leaders think they are supposed to be right and always have the answers.   

 

Leadership is not about being focused on oneself and always being right.  Leadership is about thinking about the big picture, and what the right answer is for the situation.  Think about what is right, not being right.

Never underestimate the impact you can have on someone's day!

Life is made up of a lot of opportunities.  Many of those opportunities come in the form of our interactions with other people.  They may be obvious and significant or subtle. Often, we react quickly, without much consideration for the viewpoint of the other person(s).  Remember that you never know what another person may be dealing with in their life.  You never know what pressure they may be under at work, what struggles they may have at home or what illness someone in their family may be fighting.  A kind word, an out of the way effort, a smile, a compliment, or a thank you can make a world of difference in a person's day.  It is amazing how big the little things can be...

Make a positive impact in someone’s life today!

Fear vs. Concern

An athletic department staff member at The University of Texas tells a story about his son sharing his fears with Darrell Royal some years ago.  Apparently, the young man told Royal he was afraid of graduating and finding a job in the “real” world.  Royal apparently replied, “Never be afraid.  Be concerned.  There is a difference.”  He went on to explain, “The difference is that fear is paralyzing.  Concern brings awareness.” 

I have always thought that fear was a normal and even important part of life and in fact I still believe that.   However, Royal’s perspective is good one.  When facing challenges, we do not want to be paralyzed but concerned.  We want to be cautious and aware and responsive but not frozen in fear.  There is a place for fear.  Certainly, we should fear consequences of our actions and ramifications of our decisions.  Our laws and authorities relay to some degree on fear and that is appropriate, but when facing change or obstacles in life fear should not dictate our lives.  Caution yes, fear no.

Thoughts on Change…

Stagnation should not be an option in life, but it is.  As humans we must change, grow, develop, and mature.  Failure to do so leads to stagnation, which in turn leads to boredom, failure, and frustration.  The world constantly changes around us.  The last fifteen months of the pandemic has led to even more change than normal, drastic, and unprecedented change. If we do not adapt to change, we will be left behind.  That is true as much in our work world as it is in our home life.  The business world of instant communications, corporate transparency and the world-wide economy is drastically different than it was just a few short years ago.  In the same way, raising kids is not what it was just 5 years ago, never mind 25 years ago. 

It is important that we embrace change in order to keep up with the ever-changing world, but more importantly to grow personally.  We cannot control the change that takes place around us but changing ourselves is a choice.  We can choose to change for the good.  Below is a great quote on the topic of change and why it is so important in our lives.

"Change is the Law of Life. Those who only look to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

- John F. Kennedy

The lost art of the “blinker”

There is a nifty feature on automobiles and trucks that allows one to indicate, by a flashing light, their intention to turn or switch lanes.  These turn signals were invented in the early 1900’s and patented in 1938.  By the 1960’s they were pretty much standard on all cars produced in the US.  There is one in your car, I am sure of it.  Yes, I said 1960, which is over 50 years ago.  I find it interesting, okay frustrating, that this device has been in place for this long and it still has not gained total acceptance within our society.  It is so simple to indicate to those of us around you, your directional intentions while driving.  In my experience the act of turning and switching lanes without the use of a “blinker” happens all too often.  Do we think that some people do not understand how to use the device?  Or are they simply too inconvenienced to flip their wrist or just a finger?  (Maybe they are on just their phone!)  I am thinking there may even be a law requiring the use of this device…

The use of the blinker, a lost art indeed…

Not your typical leadership challenging MMM, and it is a repeat of a previous publication.  I know that the MMM cannot change the world, but I was hoping for some local improvement on this topic.  Recent drives through The Woodlands and into Houston would indicate there has been no change in behavior.

Super Bowl of Life?

The Big game played yesterday is a big deal in the football world and certainly entertaining to watch.  Granted, this year was a little different, as our lives have been for the last eleven months. If we are not actually part of an NFL team, we cannot aspire to make it to that game.  However, there are Super Bowls of life that we can aspire to, even hope to be named MVP. There are others that we should try to avoid. Consider…

·         There is the Super Bowl of a meaningful life

…or the one for materialistic success

·         What about the Super Bowl of positive impact

… as opposed to the one of self focus

·         There is a Super Bowl for giving back

…but also, one of selfishness

·         A Super Bowl of Faith

…or the one of stubborn independence

·         The Super Bowl for being a positive spouse, parent, or friend

…but also one for never developing meaning relationships

 What Super Bowl of Life (or Bowls) are you training for?

Thanksgiving 2020 in Perspective

Here we are headed into another major holiday still under the “wet blanket feeling” of the pandemic. This holiday, and Christmas soon to follow, will certainly look and feel different.    We may not be able spend time with loved ones like normal, nor will we have the excitement of public gatherings that we enjoy during the holiday season. We might be  lonely or feeling depressed. Possibly we are frustrated and overwhelmed. Whatever the case, it will be a different and potentially challenging holiday season.

As tough as things may seem, let’s keep things in perspective.  We are still blessed.   If you woke up this morning in good health with a roof over your head, you should be thankful.  If you and your family know you will  have three meals today, be grateful.  If you have the ability to see and read this message, don’t take that for granted.  If you have family and friends who love you, even though you might not get to hug them this Thursday, you are blessed.  If you have all of these things you are in a very small percentage of the world from a wealth and comfort perspective.  We may not get the holidays that we are used to, but we are blessed and should remain grateful for the things we have. Consider the real meaning of Thanksgiving and maintain perspective.  Happy Thanksgiving

Make One Change

The world as we know it has drastically changed over the last 120 days.  What have we learned from all of this?  I am not talking about how to use Zoom or buy groceries online.  What have you learned about yourself?  Has being at home with your family presented some growth opportunities?  Does working remotely lead to more efficiency or more frustration?  Think about how you have changed and what you have learned.  What positive change do you plan to take with you from this experience.  Pick one significant change; make it meaningful and challenging for your personal growth.  It can be like a New Year’s resolution made on June 1^st instead of January 1^st. 

Make one positive change from these challenging times…

In the news

You don’t need the Monday Morning Minute to comment on current events.  There are plenty of other sources for commentary on the news. However, I feel differently given the events of this past week. 

Kobe Bryant Helicopter Crash – I was impacted by this more so than I expected.  I am not a Lakers fan, Kobe fan, or really an NBA fan. Perhaps, it was the fact that there were three 13-year-old athletic girls involved in the crash that reminded me of my granddaughter who is that age. Maybe, it was the thought of the families left behind and the outpouring of stories of support and love for those that were lost.  Whatever the case, it is a reminder of the fragile and short nature of our lives. I have already been blessed with 20 more years than Kobe got, but beyond that there is no guarantee. 

Coronavirus – The case count for this deadly virus is over 8,200 (as of this writing.)  This causes me think about how small the world truly is.  We loosely use the term “it’s a small world”, but the speed and distances of which this virus has spread, shows us the true small world we live in today.  We are incredibly connected, not just electronically, but physically through the travel and movement of people globally.  It also reminds me that medicine is still an art and not a science.  As much as we know about disease and disease prevention, this particular virus has a head-start on our professional medical community.  It is not a helicopter crash, but it is a life-threatening event outside of our control.

Life is precious, yet fragile.  Hold on to those you love closely.  Don’t put off saying what needs to be said.  Don’t delay going where you want to go.  Do the things now that you enjoy.  Live life to the fullest today. Remember, we are promised nothing beyond the moment we are currently living.