Communicating

 

If you follow the MMM you know I have written a lot on listening. Focused and intentional listening is powerful. But let’s look at the other aspect of communication. That is the role of the communicator. Communication is a two-way street between the communicator and the listener. The real burden is on the communicator. They are the ones delivering a message. They are the ones trying to make a point. It is their job to successfully convey their intended message. All the great listening in the world cannot overcome a poorly delivered concept or idea.

The next time you feel the urge to say, “Would you just listen to what I am saying?”, consider pausing and reviewing your delivery as the communicator. The burden is on the sender of the message. 

Have a blessed week.

Movement

 

Our goal as leaders, public speakers and thought leaders should be almost singularly focused on movement. It matters not what we say, the message we deliver, or the thoughts we convey, if they do not lead to movement. When I say movement, I mean action. I mean forward movement. I mean progress. That's what we want to instill in teams and organizations. Forward motion should be our constant goal.

Sure, we can speak on platitudes and concepts, but if they don't lead to action (movement) what good have we done?  Think about your next staff meeting. What about your next company address? How about your next one-on-one with your team leader? Are you conveying a message that creates movement? I feel like it's one of the greatest leadership questions we can face. Are we encouraging movement? Does our leadership result in action?

Who will you help move forward this week?

Starve Your Distractions, Feed Your Focus

 

I am not good at this. I am so easily distracted. This is not easy to do in our social media, text message, internet world. How much more productive would we be if we could do this? Even if we could just do it during work hours. How much would our productivity go up?

 

It is a simple concept, not so easy to put into practice.

 

How are you at this?

Tone and Delivery

How powerful is the tone and delivery of your words when you speak?  You probably don’t realize the impact your expression has on others.  It is not what you say, but how you say it that counts.  Have you ever met someone that can deliver the worst possible news, but does it in a way that you feel okay about it?  On the other hand, what about someone who communicates great news, but does so in a way that seems to ruin the good news itself.  Those are the extreme examples of the impact of how you say something.  Be mindful of the impact of tone and delivery on your message.

Clear Communication

Misunderstandings in communication take place when intent differs from interpretation.  Good communicators strive to clarify their point to avoid misunderstandings.  It is easy to assume that our intended message was understood.  Since we understand what we are saying, we believe that others will understand as well.  That is just not the case.  Our individual minds work differently, and we all listen and interpret differently.  Never assume that your message has been properly understood. The first step in resolving any misunderstanding should be to clarify the message. To avoid misunderstandings all together, strive for clear communications without room for misinterpretation. 

As leaders and managers, as well as parents and spouses, it is critical that we communicate clearly.  Doing so can eliminate conflict before it ever gets started.  Just put yourself in the shoes of your intended listener, who does not have the benefit of knowing how you are thinking.  Would you understand the message being delivered?  Avoid misunderstandings by clarifying your message. Consider the quote below.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw

How do you treat others?

What do you think about when you hear that question?  There are basic considerations like opening doors for others and letting people go first in line.  There are also daily pleasantries like saying “how are you” and “thank you”.  In my mind there is one true measure of how we treat people that ranks above all others; the way we speak to someone.  What we say, and often more importantly, how we say it, is the key to how we treat people.  Our words are powerful.  Our tone can be harmful.  Our decision to talk or listen sends a message. 

Never underestimate the power of the spoken work.  Unfortunately, that spoken word is easy to use in anger and retaliation. It is the first thing we use without thinking when responding to someone.  It can be made hurtful by the words we choose and the tone with which they are said.  However, the spoken word can also be used to lift someone up, to show true love and support, to encourage and to teach.  It can communicate our deepest feelings and share our most private thoughts.  The power is ours.  We make the choice about exactly how to use the power of a spoken word.  How we talk to people is the true barometer of how we treat them. 

So, when you open your mouth today think about how you really treat others?

Leadership - Praise in public, scold in private.

Nothing is gained by handing someone their head in front of their co-workers.  On the other hand, praise for individuals in the presence of their teammates can be a powerful motivator.  I don’t recall the first time I heard this phrase, nor who said it.  I was young, maybe just a teenager, but it made an impression and has stuck with me.  It makes all the sense in the world.  Public praise builds confidence.  Public scolding has the opposite effect.  I know there are a lot of leaders who might disagree.  They feel the exhibition of power via a public chastising of one individual can send a message to others.  They are right; it does send a message, the wrong message.  It is not necessary to lead by fear and intimidation.  There are ways to communicate a firm message to a group without calling out one person.  The positives of scolding in private far outweigh any benefits of doing so in front of a group.  Truly successful leaders understand this concept.  The best part of adhering to this philosophy is the resulting loyalty.  People appreciate being treated this way.  They respect leaders who deliver positive feedback in public and the negative one on one behind closed doors.