Tone and Delivery

How powerful is the tone and delivery of your words when you speak?  You probably don’t realize the impact your expression has on others.  It is not what you say, but how you say it that counts.  Have you ever met someone that can deliver the worst possible news, but does it in a way that you feel okay about it?  On the other hand, what about someone who communicates great news, but does so in a way that seems to ruin the good news itself.  Those are the extreme examples of the impact of how you say something.  Be mindful of the impact of tone and delivery on your message.

Take a Breath Before You Speak

The strategy itself is remarkably simple.  It involves nothing more than pausing and taking a breath or two before you respond to someone who has just spoken to you.  At first, the silent gap may seem like an eternity, but in reality, it amounts to only a fraction of a second of time.

Observe the conversations around you, you will notice that many of us are simply waiting for our chance to speak.  We are not listening to others, but simply waiting for an opening and the opportunity to express our own viewpoint. Truly listening requires patience and discipline.  Don’t miss the opportunity to hear what is being said because you are planning what to say next.

This harried form of communication encourages us to criticize points of view, overreact, misinterpret meaning, and form opinions, all before our fellow communicator is even finished speaking.  No wonder we are so often annoyed, bothered, and irritated with one another.  With our poor listening skills, it is a miracle that we have any friends at all!  Are you listening?  Does this ring a bell?

No need to worry that you won’t get your turn to speak, you will.  In fact, it will be more rewarding to speak because the person you are speaking to will pick up on your respect and patience and will begin to do the same.  

Portions taken from Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff, By Richard Carlson, Ph.D.

Happy Independence Day!

We live in a great country!  Sure, we are currently facing some challenges, but freedom, independence, and opportunity abound in the United States of America.  This past weekend we celebrated independence.  What does independence mean to you?  Obviously, we were not around when this country was under the rule of the British.  So, what does it mean to us to have independence today?  Consider the ability to speak your mind freely.  What about our freedom to worship as we choose?  We can also live, work and travel wherever we want in this great land.  These are fundamental liberties that we often take for granted.  You do not have to spend much time in other parts of the world to truly understand the meaning of independence and more specifically freedom.  The few freedoms that I mentioned above, are not available in many parts of the world and those are just a few that we enjoy.  We are free because of the foresight of our founding fathers 240 years ago, and because of the protection provided by our armed services for all those years.

I hope you enjoyed your Independence Day! Do not forget what it really means.   

Regarding the Special Edition MMM last week, here are a couple of follow up thoughts on my suggested responses…

Be thoughtful and intentional with social media posts, and be careful about what you believe on those forums.

·   Consider the old adage, “think before you speak”, a similar thought process should be applied to social media posting, “think before you hit enter”.  There is a lot of misinformation out there, as well as just plain useless information.  Impactful social media posts are grounded in facts and well thought out opinions.  We need more of that and less one-word shares of attention getting false information.

Educate yourself with facts from a variety of sources

·      We know that many media sources are full of biases and agendas, as such we need to broaden our sources to gather various viewpoints.  Educating yourself by researching topics and verifying stories takes time, but it is necessary.  Take the time. Educate yourself.

Be blessed…

Listening

Listening is a favorite topic of the MMM.  People can listen at a rate of 600 words per minute, but they can only talk only at 100 to 150 words per minute.  As a result listeners are easily distracted, they can process more information than a person speaking to them can deliver.  The challenge is to use the extra time, the extra processing capacity, to listen more productively.  Unfortunately, most people start planning what they are going to say next instead of listening to the speaker’s concluding words.  Ironically, the last sentence, which usually contains the meat or most important point, is totally missed by most listeners.  Think about it, how often are you planning a response and not listening to someone speaking to you?

Slow down and listen...

Life

Heard a great speaker last week at a VEL Institute event.  If you have not heard of VEL, check them out.  Their stated mission is…  “Bringing Veterans, Entrepreneurs and Leaders together to create positive community action and foster valuable relationships.” 

The speaker was Dr. Todd Dewett.  What an energetic and thought provoking guy he is.  One focus of his talk was the challenge of breaking out of our routines and pre-disposed viewpoints.  I came away feeling like I probably needed to re-examine some things in my life that I have come to accept as normal.  He also addressed the power of positivity.  We have all heard this before, but he came at it from a different direction, the negativity.  Here are a couple of quotes from Dr. Todd Dewett for you to ponder this week…

“A life worth living is worth examining and taking risks on.”

“Understand the sticky power of negativity.  It sticks way easier and way longer than positivity.”

            Dr. Todd Dewett

Word Power!

Word Power!

The spoken word is so much more powerful than we know.  Words can both hurt and heal.  They can destroy and build up.  What we say can educate or simply berate.  Words can sting but they can also soothe.  We can use our words to encourage or deflate.  Our words can make someone’s day or…

The problem is that we are often too quick to spout something without thinking of its impact.  As the saying goes we speak before we think.  This often results in our words coming out on the negative side of all of the above options.  That means we can leave a trail of anger, disappointment, and hurt feelings around us. 

Consider the power of your words.  Choose them carefully.  More to the point, today consciously choose to be positive with what you say.