Growth & Grace

Have you grown over time? Are you different than you were six months ago, or even a year ago?  Are you better or improved? Many of us would answer with a resounding, “Yes!” I believe we improve with age, much like wine. Perhaps we become wiser, calmer, even more generous. 

So why do we look at others and judge, or assume that, the person they are today is who they will always be? We do not know who they will become or what they are capable of doing in the future. We also do not know who they may have been in the past. Maybe instead of being skeptical because we do not like what we see, we should have faith, knowing they too will learn and grow in time.  

How are you improving over time? Better yet, how much grace are you showing others going through the same growth process? 

Never Stop Learning

 

Do you think people really mean it when they say we learn something new every day?  They should.  Too often we treat the learning process as something with a specific end to it.  We tend to say we "went to school" or "received our education".  That sounds like we are done learning!  Often in fact we hardly begin learning about life until we are finished with our formal education.  Perhaps we need to think of our education as an ongoing process not something that we have completed in the past.  We really can learn something new every day, and, we should.  Think about what you will learn today!

Tweaking Your Trajectory

 

Where is your current trajectory taking you?  The ongoing process of self-improvement is all about trajectory.  We owe it to ourselves to check our current direction and see if we are headed where we want!  This requires honesty, transparency, and objective self-analysis. Whether this process is pleasant or not, we should take it seriously. Some changes require significant admissions and major life changes.  However, for many of us our trajectory just needs to be tweaked.  We need to slightly increase our positive habits and back off the more negative ones. Just because they are only tweaks does not mean they will be easy.  Change is hard.  Bad habits are hard to break, and good ones are difficult to become routine.  Change is how you alter the direction your life is taking.

 

Think about where you are headed and ask yourself these questions. Are you happy with that direction? Could your trajectory use some adjustments? 

Growth & Grace

 

If someone were to ask if you feel like you have grown over time, how would you answer? Are you different than you were six months ago or even a year ago?  Most of us would answer with a resounding, “Yes!” I believe we improve with age, much like wine. Perhaps we become wiser, calmer or even more generous. So why do we look at others and judge, or assume, the person they are today is who they will always be? We do not know who they will become or what they are capable of doing in the future. We also do not know what they may have been in the past. Maybe instead of being skeptical because we do not like what we see, we should have faith knowing they too will learn and grow in time. 

How are you improving overtime? Better yet, how much grace are you showing others going through the same growth process?

Vote

 

Are you unhappy with your local or national government?  Do you wish you could weigh in on the direction of our country?  Would you like to be heard?  Your opportunity is now.  Voting is both a right and an obligation.  Although not uniquely American, voting is woven into the fabric of this great country.  We may not always like the options or the process.  We may not care for the party system or the outcome, however we have the opportunity to participate.  Voting is speaking up.  Voting is taking a stance.  Voting is a privilege.  Take some time to educate yourself on the issues and candidates and then exercise your right to vote!

We have the privilege….let’s take advantage of it and go vote!

Leaders Don’t Know Everything

 

Positions and titles can cloud the judgment of leaders.  Often when leaders reach a certain level, they think they are required to have all the answers.  It is like they believe that with the title comes the obligation to answer every question immediately and correctly themselves.  They put undue pressure upon themselves to respond with authority, even when they may not be confident of the answer.

 

Solid leaders know that quality leadership requires a decision-making process.  That process may require time and it may involve other resources.  Good decision making does not come as the result of a title or a position, but is the result of experience, wisdom, and thoughtful processing of the circumstances.  Making the ultimate decision is different from feeling like you must have an immediate answer to every circumstance.  Great leaders are always prepared to step up and make a decision.  But in doing so, they know they don’t have to respond immediately and have all the answers themselves.  They know to consult experts, conduct research, and fully consider all options.  Our responsibility as leaders is to make sound, well thought out and rational decisions, not to simply have an answer.

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

 

There are some things in my life that I need to change, and I struggle with actually making that happen.  It is just too easy to stay the way we are.  Change is hard, and it has to start with some specific action, because if nothing changes then nothing will change. We must start somewhere.  Life is a process, not a destination.  It is largely about change and adaptation to circumstances.  It is about how we improve ourselves over our lifetime.  Change is difficult, and it is not required, but it is advised. As this year draws to close, what change will you make happen in 2022?

Growth & Grace

 

If someone were to ask if you feel like you have grown over time, how would you answer? Are you different than you were six months ago or even a year ago?  Most of us would answer with a resounding, “Yes”! I believe we improve with age, much like wine. Perhaps we become wiser, calmer or even more generous. So why do we look at others and judge, or assume, the person they are today is who they will always be? We do not know who they will become or what they are capable of doing in the future. We also do not know what they may have been in the past. Maybe instead of being skeptical because we do not like what we see, we should have faith knowing they too will learn and grow in time.  

How are you improving overtime? Better yet, how much grace are you showing others going through the same growth process?

Decisions…

My wife and I have a variety of home improvement projects going on at home.  This process has reminded me of how differently we go about making decisions.  As a part of this process, I recently asked if she wanted to go to the store with me to make a certain selection.  Her response was telling, saying “No, I do not have the time it will take for you to stand there and stare at the options and over think your choice”.  She might have a point, and this was just for some picture frames!  I am proud to say, that on several of the decisions on these projects I have been able to make some speedy selections and keep the project moving.  Nonetheless, definitive and fast decision making is not my strong suit.  A good friend, and longtime MMM reader, shared the below thought with me recently…

“Remember, the road of life is littered with squirrels that could not make a decision.”

For many of you this is not a problem.  For those like me, for whom it is, we need to work on it, lest we get run over!

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Regarding the Special Edition MMM last week, here are a couple of follow up thoughts on my suggested responses…

Be thoughtful and intentional with social media posts, and be careful about what you believe on those forums.

·   Consider the old adage, “think before you speak”, a similar thought process should be applied to social media posting, “think before you hit enter”.  There is a lot of misinformation out there, as well as just plain useless information.  Impactful social media posts are grounded in facts and well thought out opinions.  We need more of that and less one-word shares of attention getting false information.

Educate yourself with facts from a variety of sources

·      We know that many media sources are full of biases and agendas, as such we need to broaden our sources to gather various viewpoints.  Educating yourself by researching topics and verifying stories takes time, but it is necessary.  Take the time. Educate yourself.

Be blessed…

There is no key to happiness, but the door is always open…

We live in a fast paced world, especially in this country.  To go along with that pace we tend to be a bit impatient.  We expect quick service, easy answers, and immediate solutions.  We believe, happiness should be constant and easy.  We look for a pill or a doctor to fix our woes.  We seek diets or lifestyles that will improve our health and state of mind.  We grab onto fads and trends to make us feel good about ourselves.   It seems to be all about finding the easy answer, the key to happiness.

There is no “key” to happiness.  There is no one thing that will make you happy and keep you happy.  Life is comprised of challenges and struggles.  I do not believe that we were meant to be happy all the time, but we can be happier by choice.  We can be more positive by choice.  We can live a better life by choice.  It takes a little determination and hard work.  It is not a quick fix.  There are certain things that can help us be happy in life; faith, family and health. However, each of those have challenges as well.  Happiness is a process, a door to walk thru again and again every day. Happiness is a choice to make.

Stop looking for a key to happiness and walk thru the door, by choice, each and every day! 

Listening

Listening is a favorite topic of the MMM.  People can listen at a rate of 600 words per minute, but they can only talk only at 100 to 150 words per minute.  As a result listeners are easily distracted, they can process more information than a person speaking to them can deliver.  The challenge is to use the extra time, the extra processing capacity, to listen more productively.  Unfortunately, most people start planning what they are going to say next instead of listening to the speaker’s concluding words.  Ironically, the last sentence, which usually contains the meat or most important point, is totally missed by most listeners.  Think about it, how often are you planning a response and not listening to someone speaking to you?

Slow down and listen...

Leadership is a Process

The leader has to be practical and a realist, yet must talk 

the language of the visionary and the idealist.
--Eric Hoffer        

I do not know Eric Hoffer, but in this quote he has nailed one of the key challenges of leadership.  Good leaders must be able to relate to all types of people and personalities.  Good leaders are capable of thinking and communicating in styles other than their natural personalities.  I consider myself a very practical and pragmatic leader.  That makes it my challenge to relate to visionaries and non-detail people.  In order to be a good leader I must be able to understand people who think and see the world differently than I do.  Great leaders adapt their style.  Static leaders become non-leaders.  What are you doing to adjust your leadership style to situations and personalities?

Never Stop Learning

Do you think people really mean it when they say that they learn something new every day?  They should.  Too often we treat the learning process as something with a specific end.  We tend to say we "went to school" or "received an education".  That sounds like we think we are done learning!  In fact, we hardly begin learning about life until after we are finished with our formal education.  Perhaps we need to think of our education as an ongoing process not something that we have completed in the past.  We really can learn something new every day and we should. 

What will you learn today?

Happiness

There is no key to happiness.  The door is always open.

We live in a fast paced world, especially here in The United States.  To go along with that pace we tend to be a bit impatient.  We expect quick service, easy answers, and immediate solutions.  Happiness, we believe, should be constant and easy.  We look for a pill or a therapist to fix our woes.  We look for diets or lifestyles that will improve our health and state of mind.  We look for fads and trends to make us feel good about ourselves.   It seems to be all about finding the easy answer, the key to happiness.

There is no “key” to happiness.  There is no one thing that will make you happy and keep you that way.  Life is comprised of challenges and struggles.  I do not even believe that we were meant to be happy all the time, however we can be happier by choice.  We can be more positive by choice.  We can live a better life by choice.  It takes a little determination and hard work, not a quick fix.  Certain things can help us be happy, faith, family and health among those things, however those have challenges too.  Happiness is a process, a door to walk thru again and again every day, a choice to make.

Stop looking for a key to happiness and walk thru the door, by choice, each and every day! 

Leadership

Positions and titles can cloud the judgment of leaders.  Often when leaders reach a certain level, or status, they seem to think they are required to independently have all the answers.  It is like they believe that with the title comes the obligation and ability to answer every question immediately and correctly themselves.  They put undue pressure upon themselves to respond with authority even when they may not be confident of the answer.

Great leaders do not fall trap to this thinking.  They know that quality leadership requires a decision making process.  That process may require time and it may involve other resources.  Good decision making does not come as the result of a title or a position, but is the result of experience, wisdom, and thoughtful processing of the circumstances.  Making the ultimate decision is different from feeling like you must have an immediate answer to every circumstance.  Great leaders are always prepared to step up and make a decision.  But in doing so they know they don’t have to respond immediately and have all of the answers themselves.  They know to consult experts, conduct research and fully consider all options.  Our responsibility as leaders is to make sound, well thought out and rational decisions, not to simply have an answer.

Failure

Don’t fear failure!  We have all seen the stories of successful people and how many times they failed before getting where they are today.  Failure is a part of the growth process.  It is necessary and normal.  In fact it should almost be encouraged.  But it is not only important to personal growth, it is key to innovation.  If we are not failing occasionally we are probably not trying enough new things!  Progress and change require experimentation and experimenting involves failures.  Consider this…

“If you prohibit failure you kill innovation”

-     Dan Pallotta 

Don’t fear failure.  More importantly, don’t prohibit failure!