Are You Self Aware?

 

Do you ever stop and reflect on your actions?  Are you able to step back and honestly reflect on your own behavior? I am not only referring to what you do, but how you show up. How aware are you of the impact your actions and behaviors have on those around you? Do they have a ripple effect on others?

Self-awareness isn’t just knowing who you are, it is understanding how you show up in the world. Be curious about yourself. That’s where real change begins.

Have a great week!

Empathy & Understanding

 

“One doesn’t have to operate with great malice to do great harm. The absence of empathy and understanding are sufficient.”

 

-       Charles M. Blow

 

Just think about it…

Wisdom

 

The MMM has often addressed wisdom and our ongoing pursuit of it. Wisdom is a permanent fixture on my prayer list.  I have also written about how impatient we are as humans.  Impatience and wisdom don’t go well together.  Consider the following which addresses both points…

 

Wisdom is not proven by argument or debate.  Wisdom is proven over time.  Some people adamantly proclaim that their opinion is best.  Regardless of how convincingly these people defend their viewpoint, time is the best judge of their wisdom.  The result of a practice proves its validity, not how loudly it is promoted. ¹

 

Be wary of those who seek to have their own wisdom acknowledged before it can be proven over time.  Remember to be patient with your own understanding of wisdom. 

 

Have a blessed week.

 

1 – Taken from: Experiencing God Day-By-Day, Henry T. Blackaby and Richard Blackaby

Get the Cream Sauce!

 

There is a lot to unpack in the below quote from the late Anthony Bourdain.  What a great way to do life!  There are nuggets in here about getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things, talking to new people, and taking care of yourself and others.  This topic relates to last week’s MMM ‘Til You Can’t.  It is also about trying new and different things, experiencing life, having a beer with a stranger.  Great wisdom here.  Cheers Anthony!

"Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride."

- Anthony Bourdain

Adversity

 

Any discussion of adversity is not complete without addressing the faith opportunity that adversity presents.  The only appropriate response to the challenges of life is a faithful reliance on God.  Adversity is part of God’s plan for us and the “Why” is usually something we do not understand.  Suffering is often a part of life.  Obviously, the degree of suffering may vary, but we do suffer, and that too is a part of God’s plan.  A true dependence upon God should be our focus when facing adversity, suffering and pain.  God’s blessing will see us through, and we will be stronger and wiser because of the experience.

When we suffer, we can easily get bogged down with the “why” question.  Why is this happening?  But we may never know the why.  God has not promised to tell us the why.  We can ask Him but He may not tell us.  He is more concerned with our future than our past, with our response to the suffering rather than the cause of our suffering.

Jeff Wells

Pastor, WoodsEdge Community Church

 

Clear Communication

Misunderstandings in communication take place when intent differs from interpretation.  Good communicators strive to clarify their point to avoid misunderstandings.  It is easy to assume that our intended message was understood.  Since we understand what we are saying, we believe that others will understand as well.  That is just not the case.  Our individual minds work differently, and we all listen and interpret differently.  Never assume that your message has been properly understood. The first step in resolving any misunderstanding should be to clarify the message. To avoid misunderstandings all together, strive for clear communications without room for misinterpretation. 

As leaders and managers, as well as parents and spouses, it is critical that we communicate clearly.  Doing so can eliminate conflict before it ever gets started.  Just put yourself in the shoes of your intended listener, who does not have the benefit of knowing how you are thinking.  Would you understand the message being delivered?  Avoid misunderstandings by clarifying your message. Consider the quote below.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw

Happy Independence Day!

We live in a great country!  Sure, we are currently facing some challenges, but freedom, independence, and opportunity abound in the United States of America.  This past weekend we celebrated independence.  What does independence mean to you?  Obviously, we were not around when this country was under the rule of the British.  So, what does it mean to us to have independence today?  Consider the ability to speak your mind freely.  What about our freedom to worship as we choose?  We can also live, work and travel wherever we want in this great land.  These are fundamental liberties that we often take for granted.  You do not have to spend much time in other parts of the world to truly understand the meaning of independence and more specifically freedom.  The few freedoms that I mentioned above, are not available in many parts of the world and those are just a few that we enjoy.  We are free because of the foresight of our founding fathers 240 years ago, and because of the protection provided by our armed services for all those years.

I hope you enjoyed your Independence Day! Do not forget what it really means.   

Listening, now more than ever…

Real conversations about uncomfortable topics cannot be held without genuinely listening.  If you follow the MMM, you know my thoughts on the importance of listening.  It is a critical skill that is needed now more than ever!  As an additional follow up to the Special Edition MMM from June 3^rd, consider the following…

·       Make the effort, it takes effort, to listen and understand the perspective of others

We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.  Often, we are either speaking or preparing to speak.  Think about what it means to listen with the intent to understand.  I mean seeking first to understand, to really understand.  To understand someone does not imply that you agree with them.  It means that you honor them with attentively listening and you truly care about their viewpoint. 

The issues we are facing in this country require conversations, which requires listening, which requires effort.  Take the time.  Make the effort.  Listen!

A Broader Focus

Do you spend time pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone?  Do you intentionally seek to grow in areas where you are uncomfortable?  Do you force yourself to focus on things you are not really interested in?  To grow as a truly well rounded and balanced person and leader, you need to be doing all three. 

Mark Wahlberg is featured in the current issue of “Entrepreneur”.  Consider this quote from that article…

“When I was younger, I was able to focus on things I was interested in, but I had no time and no desire to focus on or be disciplined about things I wasn’t interested in, he answered, “And I realized that I needed to be disciplined all around, in every capacity – and that would allow me to become successful, or at least have the best chance to succeed.”

The writer went on to state…As we get older, we don’t become different people – we become bigger people, understanding the many multitudes of things we must consider, and care about, and take on.  Our pathway to success isn’t just about going forward, but about going wide.

Take an interest in something new this week. Be intentional about going wide, not necessarily deep.

Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil

We have all seen pictures and statuettes of the three monkeys that symbolize the above phase, and we have probably heard that phrase hundreds of times.  Parts of the phrase seem to take on a life of their own.  How many of you have said, "My mom told me if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all”?  The speak no evil part just seems so logical and understandable.  Words are powerful, but they can also be hurtful.  So, what about the Hear and See no evil?  I think those are just as important.  They mean to not let evil influence your life.  Don't watch evil on TV.  Don't listen to evil music.  Don't hang out with evil people.  Don't go into business with evil partners.  Don't put yourselves in situations where evil is prevalent.  Humans tend to take on the characteristics of the environment in which they live.  As such we should stay away from evil environments.

Hear no evil, See no evil, Speak no evil.  Be all three monkeys at one time!

Optimist/Pessimist

I would not describe myself as a wild eyed optimist.  Some might think of me as more of as a bit of a pessimist.  At least that is what my kids and some of my more entrepreneurial employers have told me.  I like to consider myself more of a realist.  I like to know all the possible outcomes and understand all of my options.  I like to have backup plans in place.  I like to understand the downside risk in situations.  Maybe those things do make me pessimistic, I don’t know.  I do know that the ability to see opportunities in the face of challenges is a virtue.  In times like these it is a virtue we should all strive to possess.  While realism is a good thing in troubling times, it takes optimism and hope to get through such times.  There are opportunities out there, even in these difficult times!  

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty

--Sir Winston Churchill

Memorial Day

Yes it is about the start of the summer, with beer, BBQ and upcoming coming trips to the beach.  There is baseball, watermelon and the kids being out of school, but don’t forget the true meaning of the holiday.  People have died serving our country and defending the freedoms we enjoy and this day is set aside to remember and honor those sacrifices.  Take a minute to think about that.  Make sure your children or grandchildren understand the price of freedom and the reason for the holiday.

Have a blessed and happy Memorial Day!

Directions

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.         ~ Gen. George S. Patton

I did not know that Patton said this, but it is a favorite concept of mine.  I have always enjoyed finding new, improved and more efficient ways to get things done.  I especially don’t like being confined by how things have been done in the past.  This quote especially on point for me.  It is how I have preferred to be managed over the years and it is how I like to lead people as well.  People need to understand why they are being asked to do something.  As leaders, we should provide them the desired result upfront and let them determine the best way to get there.  If they do not get there at all, then you have another leadership opportunity.  Often they may find ways to get there that you have not considered.  They may actually give you more than you asked for.  Not only will you get a better and possibly more creative solution, you will have empowered your followers who will appreciate the confidence you have placed in them.  Everyone enjoys a good challenge; give them one instead of dictating their methods.

Leadership is a Process

The leader has to be practical and a realist, yet must talk 

the language of the visionary and the idealist.
--Eric Hoffer        

I do not know Eric Hoffer, but in this quote he has nailed one of the key challenges of leadership.  Good leaders must be able to relate to all types of people and personalities.  Good leaders are capable of thinking and communicating in styles other than their natural personalities.  I consider myself a very practical and pragmatic leader.  That makes it my challenge to relate to visionaries and non-detail people.  In order to be a good leader I must be able to understand people who think and see the world differently than I do.  Great leaders adapt their style.  Static leaders become non-leaders.  What are you doing to adjust your leadership style to situations and personalities?

Perspective

Perspective can be powerful thing.  A little dose can make one's own problems or situation seem quite insignificant, or at least totally different.  The tragedies we have seen in this country in the last three months are difficult to understand.  There were the natural disasters of three major hurricanes striking the USA and its territories causing the loss of lives and untold damage. Then recently there were the human inflicted mass shootings, of which there have been two horrible episodes within weeks of one another.  The loss of life and degree of mass destruction is difficult to understand.  Some of you may have been impacted by these events.  But if you are alive reading this MMM, and did not lose a loved one, you were not impacted to the same degree as many.  It is a reminder of just how little we really understand and really control here on earth.  Our plans are not God’s plans and our understanding is not God’s understanding. 

These events, and the perspective gained from them, can make a person really see their own challenges in a totally different light.  What you do in your job or daily life is important.  How you spend your time and your resources is importantly and hopefully positively impactful on others.  But, the next time you become frustrated by the challenges of your job, your boss or co-workers, your kids or family, or just an inconsiderate driver, consider a little perspective.  Consider what they may be going through.  Better yet, consider what you have been blessed enough to not have had to experience.  Perspective is powerful.

Conversations in Your Own Head

Do you talk to yourself?  Maybe not literally out loud, but do you have conversations with yourself in your own head?  I know I do, and I have to believe that most people do.  Is there a voice in your head that you cannot help but listen to?  How do those conversations go?  Are they positive, encouraging and uplifting?  Or are they negative, downgrading and discouraging.  All too often for me they can be the later. 

Why are we so hard on ourselves?  Maybe not everyone is.  Those that have mastered the ability to be positive and self-assuring in their own minds are likely to be more successful and maybe happier all around.  It is not easy to do.  We should understand that we need to be our own best friend, our own greatest supporter and biggest fan.  Why not? 

I am not suggesting arrogance here.  I am suggesting that we need to be positive about ourselves in our own minds.  We need to talk ourselves up, be encouraging.  Nothing but good can come from that. There are plenty of negative influences out there today.  We do not need another one in our own head!  Listen to your positive self in your own mind!