Volume

 

Does it help for anger and frustration to be expressed through increased volume? Do strong leaders become loud to convey important facts? Is yelling truly a better way to communicate urgency? I suggest the answer to all of these questions is no.

 

Yet, despite knowing this, I do not always live that way. It is a very human reaction to “get loud” in certain circumstances. Other than large crowds or great distances, and of course sporting events, what good is loud screaming? The person you are communicating with was probably hearing you just fine before you got emotional and turned up the volume.

 

Sure, voice inflection and some degree of volume change can be used in communicating a message, but outright yelling? Not at all. Communication with excess volume can foster anger and disrespect. It can undermine good leadership. It is demeaning and degrading to the listener. Next time you feel the urge to get loud, pause and ask yourself if it really necessary?

Your word...

 

Oftentimes, we talk of others in terms of being able to take them for their word.  A common compliment is, “He is a man of his word.”  Let’s think about that concept by looking in the mirror.  Are you a man or woman of your word?  Can others take you at your word?  More importantly would you trust your own words?  Do you communicate with integrity and the intention to stand behind your word?  Words are powerful tools. Trust is built on words supported by honesty and integrity.  Trust can be destroyed by words of deceit and misrepresentation.  Our word is one of the few things we have that we totally control. It can’t be taken from us and will always play a role in how we impact the lives of those around us.

 

Have a blessed week!  

Volume

 

Is it productive for anger and frustration to be expressed through increased volume?  Do strong leaders become loud to convey important facts?  Is yelling truly a better way to communicate urgency?  I suggest that the answer to all these questions is no. 

 

Unfortunately, I do not always live that way.  It is a very human reaction to “get loud” in certain circumstances.  Other than large crowds, great distances, and of course sporting events, what good is loud screaming?  The person you are communicating with was probably hearing you just fine before you got emotional and turned up the volume.  Sure, voice inflection and some degree of volume change can be used in communicating a message, but not out and out yelling.  Communication with excess volume can foster anger and disrespect.  It undermines good leadership, and it can feel demeaning and degrading to the listener.  Consider this the next time you feel the volume increasing for no good reason. 

 

“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater is his success,
his influence, his power for good. Calmness of mind is one
of the beautiful jewels of wisdom” -- James Allen 

Your Word?

 
We often talk of being able to take someone for their word.  A common compliment is, “He is a man of his word.”  Think about that concept by looking in the mirror today.  Are you a person of your word?  Can others take you at your word?  More importantly would you trust your own words?  Do you communicate with integrity and the intention to stand behind your word?

Words are powerful tools Trust is built on words supported by honesty and integrity, but trust can be destroyed by words of deceit and misrepresentation.  Our word is one of the few things we can totally control, can’t be taken from us, and will always play a role in how we impact the lives of those around us.  Enjoy the quote below…    

 “I believe in the sacredness of a promise, that a man’s word should be as good as his bond; that character — not wealth or power or position — is of supreme worth.”

 ― J.D. Rockefeller

Tone and Delivery

How powerful is the tone and delivery of your words when you speak?  You probably don’t realize the impact your expression has on others.  It is not what you say, but how you say it that counts.  Have you ever met someone that can deliver the worst possible news, but does it in a way that you feel okay about it?  On the other hand, what about someone who communicates great news, but does so in a way that seems to ruin the good news itself.  Those are the extreme examples of the impact of how you say something.  Be mindful of the impact of tone and delivery on your message.

Clear Communication

Misunderstandings in communication take place when intent differs from interpretation.  Good communicators strive to clarify their point to avoid misunderstandings.  It is easy to assume that our intended message was understood.  Since we understand what we are saying, we believe that others will understand as well.  That is just not the case.  Our individual minds work differently, and we all listen and interpret differently.  Never assume that your message has been properly understood. The first step in resolving any misunderstanding should be to clarify the message. To avoid misunderstandings all together, strive for clear communications without room for misinterpretation. 

As leaders and managers, as well as parents and spouses, it is critical that we communicate clearly.  Doing so can eliminate conflict before it ever gets started.  Just put yourself in the shoes of your intended listener, who does not have the benefit of knowing how you are thinking.  Would you understand the message being delivered?  Avoid misunderstandings by clarifying your message. Consider the quote below.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

– George Bernard Shaw

Friends

Last week we talked about the importance of friends.  We need support and advice from friends.  The best of friends also challenge us.  Truly great friends will encourage us to change course.  They point out our poor decisions.  They care about us becoming better versions of ourselves.  Do you have friends who will be honest with you?  When you veer off course will they tell you?  We want and need friendships like this. 

 

Are you this type of a friend?  Like we said last week, friendship is a two-way street.  That means we have a responsibility to be honest with friends.  We owe it to them to openly communicate and encourage them to grow.  Certainly, they need our support.  Sometimes that support needs to take the form of a challenging conversation.

 

Have great friends and a be a great friend…    

How do you treat others?

What do you think about when you hear that question?  There are basic considerations like opening doors for others and letting people go first in line.  There are also daily pleasantries like saying “how are you” and “thank you”.  In my mind there is one true measure of how we treat people that ranks above all others; the way we speak to someone.  What we say, and often more importantly, how we say it, is the key to how we treat people.  Our words are powerful.  Our tone can be harmful.  Our decision to talk or listen sends a message. 

Never underestimate the power of the spoken work.  Unfortunately, that spoken word is easy to use in anger and retaliation. It is the first thing we use without thinking when responding to someone.  It can be made hurtful by the words we choose and the tone with which they are said.  However, the spoken word can also be used to lift someone up, to show true love and support, to encourage and to teach.  It can communicate our deepest feelings and share our most private thoughts.  The power is ours.  We make the choice about exactly how to use the power of a spoken word.  How we talk to people is the true barometer of how we treat them. 

So, when you open your mouth today think about how you really treat others?