Mind Games

 

I have read that over 66,000 thoughts flow through our minds every day.  I’m not sure if that is factual, but if it is anywhere near that many it is staggering.  No wonder I can’t focus. That also explains the fact that I can talk myself into believing almost anything.  The real challenge is what we do with all that thought power.  Too often those thoughts are negative.  Thoughts like the devil tempting us and thoughts like our own self-doubt.  We can be our own worst enemy with negative thoughts.  Clearly the preference is to use those thoughts to bolster confidence, to instill a positive attitude.  Remember the MMM a few weeks ago, "Choose Your Me”.  Our thoughts are incredibly powerful.  The mind can push our bodies beyond perceived limits.  It can strengthen us in times of loss and encourage us in times of doubt.   Controlling all of our thoughts is probably not possible, but controlling our thoughts when we need them to be positive is a great skill. 

 

Life is largely a mental game.  How we handle tens of thousands of thoughts per day plays impacts us significantly.  Our thoughts need to be positive, supportive, encouraging, and challenging, not negative.  What kind of games is your mind playing on you?

Directions

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.         ~ Gen. George S. Patton

I did not know that Patton said this, but it is a favorite concept of mine.  I have always enjoyed finding new, improved and more efficient ways to get things done.  I especially don’t like being confined by how things have been done in the past.  This quote especially on point for me.  It is how I have preferred to be managed over the years and it is how I like to lead people as well.  People need to understand why they are being asked to do something.  As leaders, we should provide them the desired result upfront and let them determine the best way to get there.  If they do not get there at all, then you have another leadership opportunity.  Often they may find ways to get there that you have not considered.  They may actually give you more than you asked for.  Not only will you get a better and possibly more creative solution, you will have empowered your followers who will appreciate the confidence you have placed in them.  Everyone enjoys a good challenge; give them one instead of dictating their methods.

Trust

Once there was an Army sergeant and a private who were doing survival training in the Rocky Mountains.  As they made their way through the woods, suddenly they encountered a really big, really angry, grizzly bear.  The bear was focused on attacking them!  Quickly the sergeant sat down, ripped off his heavy hiking boots, removed some running shoes from his backpack and put them on, as he was hurriedly lacing them up, the private stood there watching.  "Excuse me, sir," he said.  "Do you really think you're going to be able to out run that bear?"  "Well, private, I don't have to out run the bear," replied the sergeant."  "I only have to out run you."

If there had ever been any trust in that relationship it was gone in an instant!  Trust is critical in relationships.  Employee and employer relationships require it.  Husband and wife relationships are built on it.  Parent and child relationships strive for it.  Trust is a foundational element of successful relationships.

Trust is earned through patient investment and long association in a relationship. However, it can be destroyed in an instant.  We destroy trust in all sorts of ways...

·         By not doing what we said we would do

·         By not saying what's really on our minds

·         By asking for input when it's obvious we've already made up our minds

·         By making up an answer rather than admitting that we don't know

·         By allowing our actions to be inconsistent with our words

Don’t destroy the trust you have established, it is difficult to re-build; strive to develop trust that you may not have yet attained, it is key in relationships.  Trust is what other people invest in you, based on your integrity.  Trust is their absolute confidence that you are truthful and reliable. 

Aim Lower?

Tough circumstances often call for smaller, less lofty goals.  A lot has been made of setting stretch goals both personally and in business.  The theory being that they encourage over-achievement and far reaching success.  In good times, with momentum and confidence that may be true.  In more challenging times when we feel overwhelmed such lofty goals just add to that feeling.  The thing is that the dread is often worse than the dreaded.  We can dread a goal or task so much because of its perceived enormity that we never get started.  The size of the goal can actually cause paralysis and no action is taken at all.  Smaller, manageable, less daunting goals can be confidence builders.  They can be the antidote for the paralysis.  This is certainly true in these difficult times.  Hard times are for maintaining, rebuilding and retrenching.  Stretch goals are not appropriate in these times and can actually prove demoralizing.  It may sound strange to say but…  Pick one thing and aim lower this week.

Happy President’s Day!

Leadership - Praise in public, scold in private.

Nothing is gained by handing someone their head in front of their co-workers.  On the other hand, praise for individuals in the presence of their teammates can be a powerful motivator.  I don’t recall the first time I heard this phrase, nor who said it.  I was young, maybe just a teenager, but it made an impression and has stuck with me.  It makes all the sense in the world.  Public praise builds confidence.  Public scolding has the opposite effect.  I know there are a lot of leaders who might disagree.  They feel the exhibition of power via a public chastising of one individual can send a message to others.  They are right; it does send a message, the wrong message.  It is not necessary to lead by fear and intimidation.  There are ways to communicate a firm message to a group without calling out one person.  The positives of scolding in private far outweigh any benefits of doing so in front of a group.  Truly successful leaders understand this concept.  The best part of adhering to this philosophy is the resulting loyalty.  People appreciate being treated this way.  They respect leaders who deliver positive feedback in public and the negative one on one behind closed doors.