Trust

Once there was an Army sergeant and a private who were doing survival training in the Rocky Mountains.  As they made their way through the woods, suddenly they encountered a really big, really angry, grizzly bear.  The bear was focused on attacking them!  Quickly the sergeant sat down, ripped off his heavy hiking boots, removed some running shoes from his backpack and put them on, as he was hurriedly lacing them up, the private stood there watching.  "Excuse me, sir," he said.  "Do you really think you're going to be able to out run that bear?"  "Well, private, I don't have to out run the bear," replied the sergeant."  "I only have to out run you."

If there had ever been any trust in that relationship it was gone in an instant!  Trust is critical in relationships.  Employee and employer relationships require it.  Husband and wife relationships are built on it.  Parent and child relationships strive for it.  Trust is a foundational element of successful relationships.

Trust is earned through patient investment and long association in a relationship. However, it can be destroyed in an instant.  We destroy trust in all sorts of ways...

·         By not doing what we said we would do

·         By not saying what's really on our minds

·         By asking for input when it's obvious we've already made up our minds

·         By making up an answer rather than admitting that we don't know

·         By allowing our actions to be inconsistent with our words

Don’t destroy the trust you have established, it is difficult to re-build; strive to develop trust that you may not have yet attained, it is key in relationships.  Trust is what other people invest in you, based on your integrity.  Trust is their absolute confidence that you are truthful and reliable. 

ASAP isn’t a commitment – it’s confusion

Ever made a request for something to be done only to hear, “I’ll get it done ASAP,” or “I’ll get back to you ASAP”?  This response just leads to uncertainty and confusion about what is real and when things will happen.  Truth be told, ASAP is a phrase that doesn’t come from anyone who is serious about getting things done.  It is a strategy for postponement of work, poor performance, or breaking commitments. It is often a chief cause of breakdowns in teams who count on each other to get things completed in a timely manner.  ASAP is the vernacular for the semi-committed.  It is for those who seem more comfortable living with unspecified promises than they are about giving the gift of clear commitment.

The phrase ASAP has no specifics or timelines attached to it and shows a lack of concern for others’ commitments and responsibilities.  It’s a form of ambiguity that, in the end, will require more work than being clear in the first place. How much more effective could we be if every commitment and conversation were specific? People appreciate it when we tell them what’s real.  They are able to stay accountable, share details of the commitment with others, and track progress along the way. The remedy for life productivity and stress reduction rests largely on what we can count on, and counting on ASAP just isn’t possible.

Say good-bye to ASAP, ASAP!