Why do we wait?

Why do we wait until people grow old, or even die, before acknowledging and praising them?  Why do we let those who have positively impacted our lives walk around without knowing what they mean to us?  What don’t we tell people when they play a role in making us who we are?  We may not all get that chance, and we should not wait.  Obituaries are a great place for tributes, but they come too late.  No time is better than the present to share with others how they have impacted your life. 

Thank people who have given you good advice.  Praise those who teach you life lessons.  Tell people you appreciate their honesty and integrity.   Let friends and family know what makes them special to you.  Share your appreciation with people who listen and mentor you.  Verbalize your love for others.  Don’t wait another day…let people know the impact that they have had on your life. 

Praise

Never underestimate the power of praise.  I have wrote before about making sure that praise is given in public.  More importantly, make sure that praise is given period.  It is a huge motivator for people.  For many it can be more powerful than money or advancement.  There is just something warm and positive about being recognized for a job well done.  For managers it may even make sense to combine both praise and constructive feedback in the same conversation.  It can lessen the impact of the negative and help provide motivation for improvement.  This is not just about your role at work.  It applies to home life and as well as any volunteers roles you may have.  You do not want to be known only as a negative critic.  The bottom line is that praise should be a daily part of a good leader’s routine.  Consider this quote…

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort, under a spirit of approval than a spirit of criticism.”

-       Charles Schwab

Barbara Bush 1925 – 2018

Our country, and the city of Houston, lost an incredible woman this week.  Barbara Bush leaves an inspirational legacy.  People from all walks of life have spoken kind words and remembrances of her. Yes, she was the wife and mother of former Presidents, but you do not need to have been the First Lady to have positive words spoken of you.  You simply need to treat others with kindness, dignity and respect.  That is the theme of what is being said about Barbara Bush this week.  From small Houston business owners, former Secret Service agents, and all in between, the theme is consistent.  She treated people with kindness. 

We are, and will be, known most prominently for how we treat others.  That alone can bring praise from the people we encounter, both while we live and after we are gone.  Barbara Bush actually said it best herself…

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success is how you treat other people.”

-       Barbara Bush

In honor of Barbara Bush go out and be kind this week.  In honor of yourself and others continue doing so in the coming weeks as well.

Leadership - Praise in public, scold in private.

Nothing is gained by handing someone their head in front of their co-workers.  On the other hand, praise for individuals in the presence of their teammates can be a powerful motivator.  I don’t recall the first time I heard this phrase, nor who said it.  I was young, maybe just a teenager, but it made an impression and has stuck with me.  It makes all the sense in the world.  Public praise builds confidence.  Public scolding has the opposite effect.  I know there are a lot of leaders who might disagree.  They feel the exhibition of power via a public chastising of one individual can send a message to others.  They are right; it does send a message, the wrong message.  It is not necessary to lead by fear and intimidation.  There are ways to communicate a firm message to a group without calling out one person.  The positives of scolding in private far outweigh any benefits of doing so in front of a group.  Truly successful leaders understand this concept.  The best part of adhering to this philosophy is the resulting loyalty.  People appreciate being treated this way.  They respect leaders who deliver positive feedback in public and the negative one on one behind closed doors.  

Life Balance

"We praise people who want balance in their lives, but reward those who work themselves to death."

-       Roy Neel

What a confusing message, the difference between who we praise and who we reward.  Roy Neel is the former Deputy Chief of Staff for President Clinton who quit that position to take a job that would allow him to spend more time with his family.  It really is funny the way we get things backwards in our society.  Neel saw that and did something about it.  Good for him.  We should all do what we can about these inconsistencies.  How can we expect our children to understand balance when we reward the opposite behavior?  How can we as adults feel good about choices that lead to balance if the rewards are based on different criteria?  In your own world, your home, your department, your company, think about the behavior you reward versus the behavior you praise.  Shouldn’t they be the same?