Tweaking Your Trajectory

 

Where is your current trajectory taking you?  The ongoing process of self-improvement is all about trajectory.  We owe it to ourselves to check our current direction and see if we are headed where we want!  This requires honesty, transparency, and objective self-analysis. Whether this process is pleasant or not, we should take it seriously. Some changes require significant admissions and major life changes.  However, for many of us our trajectory just needs to be tweaked.  We need to slightly increase our positive habits and back off the more negative ones. Just because they are only tweaks does not mean they will be easy.  Change is hard.  Bad habits are hard to break, and good ones are difficult to become routine.  Change is how you alter the direction your life is taking.

 

Think about where you are headed and ask yourself these questions. Are you happy with that direction? Could your trajectory use some adjustments? 

Life’s normal heartaches have not stopped…

The emotional drain and weight of these times are significant.  I am not even sure we know how this pandemic is really impacting our mental state. There is uncertainty, disruption, and financial pressure. We do not have our normal social outlets available to us. This is all on top of life’s routine challenges.  People are still losing loved ones and marriages are in turmoil.  Kids are dealing with chemical dependency and new cancer diagnoses are made daily.  Mental illness, poverty and hunger continue to plague people. Our friends, families and associates all have their normal baggage.  Now they have a pandemic on top of it!  People are crumbling under the weight of it all. 

Two thoughts…

1.    Be kind to yourself.  Don’t ignore the signs of stress.  As leaders we want to be strong, but it is okay to not be okay (MMM 3.30.2020). Give yourself a break; this is uncharted territory.

2.       Be there for others.  People are hurting due to the crisis but still challenged by life’s normal heartaches.  You might not be able to hug them, but you can still be there for them. 

What Day is it?

The weekends used to include soccer, church and nights out.  A normal weekday included a work schedule and human interaction, outside of immediate family.  Days were recognized by fixed meetings, happy hours or workout schedules.  Monday was often dreaded, while Friday celebrated.  But now?  Things are different; how is one day really much different from another?  What does it even mean to say, “Enjoy your weekend”?

Our “normal” is changing and we are learning to adapt.  Some people have said they do not like the concept of this being “the new normal”, they prefer to think of it as the temporary normal.  A lot of this change is temporary.  Our routines will come back, and our schedules will return.  We will eventually get back to knowing what day it is!  But I do not think our lives, or this country will ever be the same. 

Does it matter if the MMM is really issued on Monday?  What day is it?  

Praise

Never underestimate the power of praise.  I have wrote before about making sure that praise is given in public.  More importantly, make sure that praise is given period.  It is a huge motivator for people.  For many it can be more powerful than money or advancement.  There is just something warm and positive about being recognized for a job well done.  For managers it may even make sense to combine both praise and constructive feedback in the same conversation.  It can lessen the impact of the negative and help provide motivation for improvement.  This is not just about your role at work.  It applies to home life and as well as any volunteers roles you may have.  You do not want to be known only as a negative critic.  The bottom line is that praise should be a daily part of a good leader’s routine.  Consider this quote…

“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort, under a spirit of approval than a spirit of criticism.”

-       Charles Schwab

Perspective

Business is better than it should be at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, the parking garages and waiting rooms are packed.  I spent some time there last week for a routine cancer follow up¹.  Simply being in that hospital, no matter the reason, offers a true sense of perspective.  It caused me to reconsider the magnitude of my own life problems.  Seriously ill people, who are fighting for their lives, come from around the world to be treated there.  Those of us in Houston or even Texas are blessed this facility is so accessible.  The people you see there run the gamut of stages of a cancer battle.  They are both young and old.  Some are newly diagnosed, others in remission.  Many are in the midst of rough treatments, some are just having a follow up, and others are holding the hands of their ill loved ones.  The common thread is cancer. 

When you think things are going really badly consider what others are dealing with.  We all deal with challenges, but a little dose of perspective, like the waiting room at M.D. Anderson, can shed a new light on the severity of our problems.  Even for those there as patients, the perspective gained might be one of community and not being alone.  Life is hard, we were never promised it would not be.  I have lost family and friends to cancer and have friends battling it now.  My wife and I have spent more time at M.D. Anderson with family, friends and loved ones, than anyone should have to.  The perspective gained by a few hours in a busy waiting room is powerful.  Perspective…

Be Blessed…

¹ I am a 15 year Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma survivor and I received a clean checkup report last week.  My wife and I have also both lost parents to cancer.  Please help our family raise funds for blood cancer research at The Blanton Bunch.