Be The Best You Can Be

Are you a different person in certain circumstances?  Does your personality literally change in some situations?  I tend to be incredibly impatient behind the wheel of my car.  Patience is not my strength at any time, but it is even worse when I am driving.  I need to work on that part of my life.  (And probably several others as well.)  It is not good if there are situations that bring out the worst in you.  Are you different when you have been drinking?  What about when you are under stress or frustrated?  Or just when you are running behind schedule?  Maybe you are really different around certain people?  Do you change who you are when you get home from work? 

We should strive to be the best we can be in all situations.  Circumstances should not dictate our personality or values.  Granted, certain circumstances require different types of responses, but they should not totally change our behavior for the worse.  Be the best you that you can be in every situation.

Thoughts...

 Life is hard, I said that a few weeks ago.  We are not promised happiness but we have some influence over it.  Life happens to us daily, and we chose how to handle and react to it.  Even our thoughts are not totally under our control.  Doesn’t your mind race with things that you would rather not think of or worry about?  You cannot control the thoughts that come into your mind.  But you can control the ones you dwell on.  We should intentionally chose to dwell on positive thoughts and minimize the negative ones.  I understand that is not easy.  And mental illness for some of us makes it impossible.  But many of us can control the thoughts we focus on.  We can choose to be positive.  It may take practice.  Don’t let your negative thought life overwhelm you.

Thankful

 As Thanksgiving approaches it is important to consider the true meaning of being grateful.  Being thankful means to have gratitude or be appreciative.  But if you look up the definition of thankful you get into a circular reference between grateful, thankful and appreciative.  All of those definitions refer to one another.  Being truly thankful is a state of mind.  It is the basic understanding that not all of what we have, and enjoy, is the result of our own doing.  God blesses us daily with the people, places and circumstances in our lives.  Consider your life and be thankful this week.  Make sure that those who positively impact you know that you appreciate them.  Teach your family how to truly understand their blessings and to be grateful for them.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving Holiday!

Reflection

The Monday Morning Minute was born twelve years ago this week.  It began as an encouraging internal communication at Fleetwood Retail Corp., a former employer that that is long since gone.  Since then it has grown to a widely distributed communication with the goal of starting your week with a challenging or encouraging thought.  People need a jump start on Monday morning to get back into a work mode.  We all need some reminder about our leadership roles in life as we begin each week.  More importantly, we must continuously learn and grow.  Some of you have been along for the ride from the very beginning, others have joined more recently.  Many of you I know, some of you I do not.  Whatever the case, I hope you get a little something from my shared thoughts each Monday morning.  I hope that you gain at least a slightly different perspective for your week.  I look forward to many Monday Morning Minutes to come…

Life Is Hard

When I hear somebody say that life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, "Compared to what?" 
       --Sydney J. Harris

This is a very thought provoking quote.  Life may be hard.  I don’t think we have any real right to complain about that.  We are not promised otherwise, but it is not always hard.  Actually, most of us are incredibly blessed.  When we think life is too hard what exactly would we like it to be?  I know, there a lot of easy answers to that... trouble free, healthy, stable, happy, comfortable, and less challenging.  But that is not life is it?   

Blame

To blame or not to blame?  There are appropriate times to seek and place blame.  Like when lives have been lost or harmed, and when property is damaged.  But often in matters of somewhat less importance, but significant none the less, we try too hard to blame others.  Admirable is the notion of taking responsibility for ones’ action.  It is too easy to place blame, point the finger, or deny responsibility.  We all do it to some degree, but in highly visibly situations, on important issues and in teaching moments, great leaders pass on blaming others (even if somewhat justified).  The high road is one taken without blaming others and a wise choice to make.  Think about that at home in the example we set for our kids.  Unfortunately our younger generation seems extremely quick to lay blame.  Take responsibility for whom and what you are.  Pass up the finger pointing opportunity and lead by example.  Consider this quote…

“The search for someone to blame is always successful.”

      - Robert Half

Outside the Box Thinking

 Did you know that sticker burrs (yes like you find in a field of weeds) were the inspiration for the fastener we now know as Velcro?  Makes sense, but I sure would not have thought of it.  When we look at the familiar with fresh eyes we really open our minds to creativity.  I am not the most creative guy around but I try and look at business problems with an open mind.  It is very easy to get caught in a rut, to live with blinders on.  We tend to only see things within the parameters we are accustomed.  But wild ideas are often really very creative solutions.  “Thinking outside the box” is an overused phrase but it is a necessary way of thinking.  It does not come naturally.  We have to consciously force ourselves to see with fresh eyes and think outside of the box.

How will you see things this week?  

Kindness

In our hurried world I feel like we overlook the importance of kindness.  We easily forget the power of a simple kind word or gesture.  With so much technology at our finger tips it is important to remember that this is still a world made up of people with real human emotions.  Below are some great reminders about the importance of the simple art of heartfelt kindness.  Exhibit some genuine kindness this week.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

-          Plato

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

-          Leo F. Buscaglia

"The measure of a truly great man is the courtesy with which he treats lesser men."

-          Anonymous

"If you can't feed a hundred people, just feed one.”

-          Mother Teresa

The Lost Art of the "Blinker"

There is a nifty feature on automobiles and trucks that allows one to indicate, by a flashing light, their intention to turn or switch lanes.  These turn signals were invented in the early 1900’s and patented in 1938.  By the 1960’s they were pretty much standard on all cars produced in the US.  There is one in your car, I am sure of it.  Yes I said 1960, which is over 50 years ago.  I find it interesting, okay frustrating, that this device has been in place for this long and it still has not gained total acceptance within our society.  It is so simple to indicate to those of us around you what your directional intentions while driving.  In my experience the act of turning and switching lanes without the use of a “blinker” happens all too often.  Do we think that some people do not understand how to use the device?  Or are they simply too inconvenienced to flip their wrist or just a finger?  (Maybe they are just on their phone!)  I am thinking there may even be a law requiring the use of this device…

The use of the blinker, a lost art indeed…

(Not your typical leadership challenging MMM, but an important topic none the less, at least to me)

Your Word?

 Often we talk of others in terms of being able to take them for their word.  A common compliment is “He is a man of his word.”  Today let’s think about that concept by looking in the mirror?  Are you a man or woman of your word?  Can others take you at your word?  More importantly would you trust your own words?  Do you communicate with integrity and the intention to stand behind your word?  Words are powerful tools.  Trust is built on words supported by honesty and integrity.  Trust can be destroyed by words of deceit and misrepresentation.  Our word is one of the few things we have that we totally control, can’t be taken from us, and will always play a role in how we impact the lives of those around us. 

      

Take The High Road

Everybody has heard the saying "take the high road", and most people probably have their own idea as to what it means.  I recently read some thoughts by John Maxwell on this phrase.  Consider the following simple thoughts regarding taking the high road...

·         Don't keep score

·         Forgive quickly

·         Serve others

·         Don't worry about getting even

It involves being humble and selfless and what's even harder, not holding a grudge.  

Life is too short, take the high road!

The Spoken Word

The spoken word is more powerful than we know.  Words can both hurt and heal.  They can tear down or build up.  What we say can educate or just berate.  Words can sting, but also soothe.  We can use our words to encourage or to deflate.  Our words can make someone’s day or…

The problem is that we are often too quick to spout out words without thinking of their impact.  As the saying goes we speak before we think.  This often results in our words coming out on the negative side of all of the above options.  That means we leave a trail of anger, disappointment, and hurt feelings around us. 

Consider the power of your words.  Choose them carefully.  More to the point, consciously choose, today, to be positive with what you say.  

Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes

Change is hard.  There have been many a MMM written about the need to change, the power of change and the challenge of change.  Change has to start with some specific action, because if nothing changes then nothing will change.  We have to start somewhere.  Life is a process, not a destination.  It is largely about change and adaptation to circumstances.  It is about how we improve ourselves over our lifetime.  It does not happen with ease.  Change is not easy and is not required, but it is advised.  Wanting to change, planning to change or knowing that we need to change are not enough.  We must initiate change by actually changing.  Consider the thoughts below…

"In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining who we are."

- Max De Pree

“If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.”
          - Anonymous

Who's In Charge?

Sometimes I will walk into my office, a meeting, or even my own home with the somewhat joking greeting of, “Who’s in charge?”  Reactions vary, sometimes I get “You are”, or maybe, “not me”.  Then there is always someone who names another person in the room that is in charge.  I was thinking about this rhetorical question last week.  Who is really in charge?  For many of us it is our God, but on a day to day basis, we are in charge of our lives and the decisions we make.  Our faith, morals and values guide those choices but we have to act upon them.  We decide our attitude for the day.  Each of us is in charge of how positively we impact others.  Individually each day we choose what we eat and when or if we workout, and like these decisions we all are in control of our own productivity at work and at home.  Every single one of us is in charge.  The answer to the question is, “I am!”   

You are in Charge!

Change

Jerry Jeff Walker sings a song entitled Too Old to Change.  I recall being in my mid to late twenties and thinking that song applied to me.  I had this notion that I was who I was, and was not likely to change much, people around me just needed to accept that.  At that point my song title should have been Too Stupid to Change.  Maybe it still should be!  We are never too old to change, we are however, often too hard headed to change.  In fact we do not grow as people if we do not change.  We must change to grow and improve ourselves.  I know this better now, even if I am still not very good at it.  Life is all about change and how we accept, embrace and adapt to it. 

Don't be too old to change!

Listening

If you have followed the MMM for very long at all, you know the value I place on listening.  It is one of the most powerful and respectful actions that we can demonstrate as humans.  As leaders, great listening skills are even more important.  Focused listening sends an unspoken message that you value what someone is saying. The more you listen the more trust and loyalty you develop with your team.  So what happens in the absence of listening?  Consider this quote…

“Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.”
           -Andy Stanley

Live Music

When is the last time you enjoyed live Music?  Well that’s too long.  Last week I got to see a great Cajun blues guitarist, Tab Benoit.  He is talented and entertaining; his story telling is as good as his music.  While listening I told my wife that live music just makes me smile.  I have no musical talent, none, but I really respect, admire and enjoy those who do.  Music is a powerful thing.  It can bring you to tears or laughter; take you to new places or back in time; open new friendships and strengthen old ones, and it is especially powerful live and in person.  It does not have to be a big name at a large venue.  It can be a local band at a neighborhood pub. We are blessed in The Woodlands with some great music venues including the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion which attracts fabulous national headliners and Dosey Doe which is a wonderful small dinner show listening room.  Find a live music venue near you and check it out.  You will enjoy it and you never know where it will take you.

Fear vs. Concern

An athletic department staff member at The University of Texas tells a story about his son sharing a fear with Darrell Royal some years ago.  Apparently the young man told Royal he was afraid of graduating and finding a job in the “real” world.  Royal replied “Never be afraid.  Be concerned.  There is a difference.”  He went on to explain “The difference is that fear is paralyzing.  Concern brings awareness.”

I have always thought that fear was a normal and even important part of life, and in fact I still believe that.   However, Royal’s perspective is good one.  When facing challenges we do not want to be paralyzed, we want to be concerned.  We should be cautious, aware and responsive, but not frozen in fear.  There is a place in life for fear.  Certainly we should fear consequences of our actions and ramifications of our decisions.  Our laws and authorities depend to some degree on fear, and that is appropriate.  But when facing change or obstacles in life fear should not dictate our lives.  Caution yes, fear no.

Unwritten

Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

                        ~ Lyrics from “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield

The past is useful.  We can learn from it, be proud of it and reminisce about it, but it is the past, and it cannot be changed.  Often we spend too much time in the past.  We cannot re-write the past; we can only author our future.  Like the lyrics from the song above, today is where your book begins.  In another part of the same song it refers to a “blank page before you”, each and every day is a blank page, an opportunity to write the future, an opportunity to impact what happens.  Those opportunities do not exist regarding past events. They do exist for today and tomorrow.  The days, minutes, and hours which are yet to happen are blank pages.  The rest is still unwritten...

Kindness

It is so easy to be kind, yet we are so often not!  We are busy, late, frustrated, depressed and worried.  Why would we think about being kind?  Here are some great reminders about the importance of the simple art of heartfelt kindness…

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

-          Plato

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."

-          Leo F. Buscaglia

"The measure of a truly great man is the courtesy with which he treats lesser men."

-          Anonymous

"If you can't feed a hundred people, just feed one.”

-          Mother Teresa